Why does the baby cry when his. Why is the baby crying. Strong crying in the baby

In the first month of a baby's life, it can be difficult to figure out what is the reason for his crying. There is an opinion that it is not necessary to “spoil” him and approach every cry, but such a theory of “education” cannot lead to anything good. The crying of a child is his way of communicating with his parents, an indicator that some kind of trouble has crept into his life.

A child at 1 month old does not cry from being spoiled or whims, at this age it is impossible! Crying is either a distress signal or an attempt to tell you something important. We list the main reasons why a baby may cry:

- He's hungry.

This is the most common cause, forcing children to express their dissatisfaction with a cry. It is the "dissatisfied", grumbling nature of crying, which becomes more and more demanding, that indicates that the baby is hungry. However, no matter what he cries from, he should always start with feeding, and not only because most often tears are caused by hunger, but also because maternal breast is the best way to calm a child.

The cause of crying must be eliminated, in this case that means you can't starve your baby, even if unscheduled feedings ruin the wonderful schedule you've put together. At the age of one month, no amount of persuasion will help convince the baby that you need to be patient and wait for milk in silence.

He is uncomfortable or wet.

The crying that accompanies wet diapers is easy to distinguish - your child groans and grumbles, you can’t call it a cry. However, the inconvenience can be caused by improper swaddling, and too bright light, and an unsuccessfully turned up sheet - there can be many reasons, and you should definitely find out what's the matter, otherwise it will not be possible to calm the baby.

So, getting rid of this problem is to change the child's clothes or find a factor that irritates him. The use of diapers will help reduce the number of screams.

- He's just bored.

Most important person for a baby - a mother, and a child at 1 month old often cries because he lacks her attention. As soon as the mother comes to the crib, the baby is already smiling.

If crying is caused by this reason, the child needs to be picked up, talk to him. This is important not only for Have a good mood baby, but also for his well-being and development.

He is tired and wants to sleep.

It would seem that a tired person should just fall asleep, and there is nothing to cry about here. However, this applies to adults, and small children often begin to whimper from overwork. Overwork is a sign that you need to reconsider the regimen of the child.

How to deal with such crying? You need to help the baby fall asleep, sing to him, lull him in his arms or in the crib. Falling asleep alone can be uncomfortable for him, and next to his mother he will quickly calm down.

- He's in pain.

This is the worst possible situation - the child is crying in pain. At the age of one month, stomach cramps are often the cause of pain, and they can be alleviated with the help of massage, but such crying can also mean an oncoming illness. If you are sure that the cause of the cry is not in the factors listed above, and if the crying does not subside for more than thirty minutes, you need to call a doctor. Never leave your child unattended!

Very soon, parents learn "from the first notes" to determine why their child is crying and how to calm him down, it's just a matter of time and experience. In infancy, there are not so many reasons for crying, and it is usually not difficult to eliminate them. It would be just as rosy in adult life ...

Lyudmila Sergeevna Sokolova

Reading time: 4 minutes

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Article last updated: 02/03/2019

The first month after the birth of the baby, getting used to the smallest member of the family takes place. The kid, in turn, also gets used to the new unusual world for him and to his parents. As the child grows older, the mother will learn to understand the reasons for his crying, however, in the first months, it can be difficult for young parents to understand this issue especially if the newborn is the first child in the family.

Why does a newborn cry

The baby in the first months of life cries because of the most basic needs. These include thirst, hunger, pain. The baby may cry if he is too hot or cold, and also as a result of overwork.

A newborn cries most often from hunger, pain or fear. Such crying is the loudest and most hysterical:

• crying from hunger is especially loud and prolonged, gradually increasing. If the child is not fed, he cries excitedly. At the very beginning of the feeling of hunger, the baby cries invitingly;
• crying caused by pain in most babies will be plaintive with the same intensity. If sudden pain occurs, the newborn may cry loudly and loudly;
• crying out of fear will be sudden and loud, even hysterical. The baby may stop crying as suddenly as it started.

If the child constantly cries and sleeps poorly, you should examine him for stomatitis in the mouth or allergic skin rashes, if diaper rash has appeared. In some cases, the baby may begin to scream before urinating. In some cases, this may be a symptom of a urinary tract infection, especially if the child has a fever. In the absence of other signs, doctors consider this to be normal.

If the reason for crying is hunger

In the case when a newborn constantly cries, sleeps little and poorly, then one of the most probable causes this behavior is hunger. The baby begins to look for breasts, smack his mouth when his mother takes him in her arms.

In the event that the child ate less than usual and slept for no more than two hours, he may cry as a result of hunger. When the baby cries a lot, the first thing to do is to try to feed him, and only after that make other attempts to calm him down.

When the baby cries often, sleeps little, and parents assume that the reason for this is hunger, then the mother believes that it is not enough for the child breast milk. And if the child is on artificial feeding that he does not gorge on a portion of the mixture. However, this is not always the case.

Constant crying doesn't start overnight. For several days, the baby actively eats, completely emptying the breast or bottle, after which it requires supplementation or falls asleep, but sleeps much less than usual. However, along with the growing appetite of the child, the production of breast milk also increases. mother's milk. This is due to frequent emptying of the breast.

The amount of breast milk in a nursing mother may decrease as a result of her overwork, worries or fatigue. At the same time, one should not rush to transfer the baby to feeding with artificial mixtures, if the mother thinks that she is not producing enough milk. If the cause of poor sleep and constant crying is hunger, you should often put the baby to the breast.

When the cause of crying is pain in the tummy

Every time after eating, and also if the baby cries, you should give him the opportunity to burp the trapped air (even if he managed to do it after eating). Therefore, you need to take the baby in your arms and hold it in an upright position. Usually 10-20 seconds is enough for this.

In the first 3-4 months, many babies are worried about colic, they cause sharp pain in the stomach in the area of ​​the intestines. From colic and gas, the child constantly cries, sometimes even all day, sleeps little. While crying, he strains his legs, draws them in or stretches them out.

In some cases, from colic, the baby may cry every day for several hours, and do it at about the same time. At the same time, the child retains a good appetite, he gains weight well.

If the baby is bottle-fed, then most mothers wonder if changing the infant formula can improve the situation? However, in most cases, replacing the children's shift will not bring results. Because the quality of baby food is not the main cause of gas formation.

The cause of colic is imperfect work digestive system newborn. This common occurrence, which worries so many babies, and it does not apply to diseases. After a few months, the child will get rid of colic and gas formation, this happens as the digestive organs develop.

A child suffering from colic should be shown to the doctor more often. Also, such a baby will feel better in the position on the tummy. If he calms down due to motion sickness or being on his hands, then you should use this method. Application of any medicines to alleviate the condition of the crumbs, it should be agreed with the doctor.

Other reasons for crying

The reason why the child constantly cries and sleeps poorly can be a disease. Most often, babies suffer from colds and intestinal diseases. If you have a runny nose, cough or unusual chair we can talk about the presence of the disease. Other diseases rarely bother children in the first months of life.

In the event that the baby not only cries, but also his behavior has changed, you should measure the body temperature and contact the pediatrician.

At an early age, it is quite rare for a baby to cry because of wet or dirty diapers. Babies up to 3-4 months do not feel this. At the same time, it will be useful to change the baby's diaper if he cries.

There is a fairly common belief that a newborn cries because of his spoiled. However, for parents of babies whose age has not reached 3 months, this item can be safely excluded. Newborns have not yet had time to become spoiled.

Another reason why a child constantly cries and does not sleep can be fatigue. When a baby experiences emotional overexcitation, for example, during a game, in a society of unfamiliar adults. It would seem, on the contrary, the child should fall asleep from fatigue, but this does not happen. Trying to calm him down by talking calmly only makes the situation worse.

In some cases, babies cannot fall asleep peacefully. This is due to excessive fatigue during wakefulness, it serves as a kind of obstacle to the onset of sleep. Such children cannot fall asleep without crying. Usually the crumbs begin to cry strongly and loudly, after which they calm down and fall asleep.

Thus, if the baby cries towards the end of wakefulness, then it can be assumed that he is very tired. To make him fall asleep, you need to put him in a crib and let him cry for a few minutes. Some babies fall asleep well alone, when no one distracts them from sleep. One way or another, this is how all babies should be taught to fall asleep.

However, some babies do well during motion sickness. For these purposes, a stroller, a crib can be suitable (it can be quietly rolled with wheels), or you can rock it by taking it on the handles. It is best to sleep in a darkened room. At the same time, every day, experts do not advise soothing the baby in this way. Having got used to going to bed in this way, it will be more difficult for a child to teach him to fall asleep on his own. Which will end up being tiresome for the parents.

If the child is restless

Many babies cry a lot in the first weeks of life, crying attacks can last until late at night or most of the day. This little guy doesn't sleep much. Moreover, periods of strong crying are replaced by very deep sleep. Such behavior may not at all be evidence of the presence of any disease.

Some experienced nannies advise calming such restless babies by laying in a cramped space. It can be a baby basket or a stroller.

An overexcitable child, as a rule, sleeps little and restlessly. Such babies usually do not like bathing in the first 2-3 months of life. For them, you should try to maintain a quiet environment, limit visits to guests, avoid loud music or TV.

What to do if the child cries constantly and a lot

Parents have a very difficult time, if the newborn is worried about gases, colic, or he is restless, it is very difficult to calm him down. If, despite all efforts, the baby does not sleep well, constantly cries, and the doctor during the examination did not reveal any diseases, then most likely, after a few months the baby will become calmer, his sleep will be restored.

However, in this moment Mom should try to get as much rest as possible. Many mothers are very worried when their baby cries a lot, this negatively affects psychological state. Therefore, the mother should often be without a child, at least 2-3 times a week. This will avoid depression. To do this, you can ask relatives or dad to sit with the baby. It is desirable that the father of the child also rest 1-2 times a week from the baby.

Your baby cries a lot and you see no reason for it. Believe me, this does not happen. There is always a reason for tears. About why the baby can cry, how to find out the reason, how to prevent tearfulness, you will learn from the wonderful book by the practicing child psychiatrist Alevtina Lugovskaya. Using her advice and recommendations, you will not only change the character of the baby, but also learn how to become both a mother and a true friend to him.

Chapter 1

Let's get started Dear Parents, let's figure out what is baby crying and how it can be caused. It is important to find out this, because only by knowing the roots of tears, you can eliminate both. And I also want to say that parents think wrongly, who, not understanding why the child sheds endless tears, thereby consider crying unreasonable. Believe me, this does not happen.

Crying is a signal that reflexively occurs in infants because of the feeling of hunger, thirst, desire to sleep and the urge to natural remedies. Subsequently, crying signals any unpleasant, unbearable feeling, reaching the degree of affect: acute anxiety and fear, sadness and longing, irritation and excitement.

The various functions of crying - whim (hysteria), protest, request, demand, complaint (offense), cry-signal, cry-discharge - make up a complex psychological structure, which is a kind of language.

For extraneous hearing, children's crying is an unpleasant irritant. Mom always knows how to catch notes in him that indicate what her baby wants. If adults try to use any means to stop a child's crying, they risk not only increasing the distance between themselves and him, but also erecting a real wall of indifference and misunderstanding.

However, there are children who cry clearly more than others. They shed tears for every reason: sympathizing with their favorite characters in a fairy tale, or seeing a dead butterfly, hearing screams and loud voices, experiencing physical pain, or coming into conflict with someone.

Crying is a strong mental experience, a kind of emotional shake-up that occurs against the background of previous tension, excitement or inhibition.

It can be the result of a discharge of tension, like an overflowing thundercloud from which rain falls. The relief experienced after crying to some extent contributes to an improvement in mood, thus representing a means of regulating emotional tone.

Sometimes crying speaks of limiting vital interests and needs that the child cannot reconcile with, of humiliation of his self-esteem, insult and resentment. Often it arises as a way to attract the attention of parents, as a kind of request for help, to intervene, to resolve this or that exciting problem. In emotionally indifferent parents, the crying of the baby in this case reaches the gradation of a cry of despair, as if urging them to be more responsive to him. He thus complains about the one who offended him, about feeling unwell, pain, inability to realize his desires.

Many parents complain about the restless behavior of their children: whims, irritability, tears over every trifle, turning into tantrums when the child falls to the floor, begins to beat his legs or arms. We must try to find out the cause of this behavior and try to eliminate it.

Especially often the mother is alarmed by the inexplicable cry of an infant. In such cases, if you are sure that apparent reason no worries, and the doctor, having examined him, concluded that he was healthy, one should not run up to him at his every cry, take him in his arms and please, feed him at the wrong time, just to calm him down. Otherwise, the baby will get used to the fact that with a cry he can achieve everything he wants. Wrong techniques will calm him only for a short time.

To begin with, crying in the first years of his life, the baby expresses natural needs, that is, he wants to eat, drink, relieve himself, or he is uncomfortable in wet clothes. The child does not yet know how to speak and expresses all his desires through crying, thus attracting the attention of his parents.

Later, when the baby learns to pronounce his first words and, it would seem, should already express his desires with them, he still cries and is naughty if he wants something. This happens reflexively, because the subconscious contains information about this way of fulfilling desires.

Nervous irritability often arises in him if he relentlessly demands the impossible. Sometimes he doesn’t need this object at all, he’s just used to screaming and crying to get his way.

It is also possible that at an early age a child is taught to be calm and cheerful only in the presence of adults. He feels comfortable only when someone is nearby, they pay attention to him. And this is undesirable, as it is fraught with unpleasant consequences.

If the baby does not find something to do and feels the need for direct contact with parents, he can express his desire to attract the attention of adults, tears, whimpers, complaints of various misfortunes and thus achieve his goal. If he is very small, they will take him in his arms and try to calm him down, that is, they will show some kind of attention.

Communication means a lot to a child. Those parents who pay enough attention to this are doing the right thing. But you should not indulge and fulfill all whims: give everything that you ask, constantly take it in your arms and relentlessly be around, discarding all business and worries.

Around the sixth week of life, often at the onset of evening, the baby begins to cry, writhe, show signs of illness. At the same time, he is clean, he has drunk enough water, he is not hot ... This state is called “evening anxiety”. Don't be scared. This often happens, but passes, as it corresponds to a phase of restless awakening, which disappears by the third month of life. He has no other way to discharge the tension accumulated during the day, and he discharges in this way. Consider that these are the difficulties of adapting the newborn to the rhythms of day and night.

When the baby starts teething, he becomes very irritable and whiny. Teeth are a very painful process: the gums swell, itch and hurt, saliva runs strongly, his temperature rises.

Crying can also be the result of an emotional disorder, when the baby is afraid or unable to express his feelings and desires aloud. This is possible when in contact with strangers, unfamiliar people. Often on the street or in transport we hear such expressions: “Stop squealing, otherwise I’ll give you to my uncle!” or “If you kick your aunt with her legs, she will take you with her!”

Usually these threats are negative result. But there are children with a very sensitive and vulnerable psyche, such warnings make a very strong impression on them, cause fear. And the words “Come on, come on, I’ll take her to me!” can cause panic horror at the prospect of spending your whole life in the company of strangers. After all, the baby takes everything said at face value.

Such threats develop in children a persistent rejection of strangers, and in the future, after all, they feel free and at ease only in a familiar environment, in the circle of relatives and relatives.

If the baby is cold or hot, and he does not know how to talk about it, he will naturally begin to cry. He also expresses his emotions when he recovers in his pants. Of course, who likes to walk around in wet clothes! And the kid calls with a loud cry to correct annoying misunderstandings.

Irritability, tears, and moodiness are sometimes the result of experience overload when you take him shopping, visiting, walking in the park, going to the zoo, or riding on carousels, where there are a lot of people and noise. Toddlers react differently to noises and large crowds of people: some quickly get used to it, while others are very afraid and may even get sick as a result.

The baby does not want to go to bed, so he starts to act up and cry. All your tenderness may not be enough if the child does not want to go to bed, his crying fills all corners of the house. It will take a lot of patience to resolve this situation. Such crying should be treated as a process of gradual re-education, like weaning from a bad habit.

Children, like adults, also have dreams. But since the child cannot yet find an explanation for many objects and phenomena, they naturally frighten him. As you know, we most often have dreams related to previous events. And if he dreamed of something unfamiliar, incomprehensible, this causes his fear and - as a result - tears. In other words, the kid had a nightmare.

He may cry not only because of bad dream. There are a lot of things in the world that the child does not yet know and cannot explain, hence the strong fear, and the baby begins to cry up to hysteria and painful spasms.

When a child falls ill and cannot explain what hurts him, he begins to cry from pain, act up, refuse to eat, and sleep restlessly.

In the first years of his life, he is under the constant supervision of a local doctor. It is very important that he not be afraid of his visit. Children usually associate white bathrobe with pain, injections, an unpleasant sensation when they listen to him or look at his neck, and begin to cry, up to hysteria, resist, fight, do not allow the doctor to do an examination, push his hands away.

Crying is a natural reaction if the baby falls or hits. Of course he hurts. Children generally take their failures very seriously. Even if he hit a little, he will still make a whole tragedy out of it, because it is important for him to be paid attention to, sympathize with and regret.

Sometimes children do not want to wear what their parents offer them - and again whims, tears and other actions up to throwing clothes.

Not all children quickly get used to the kindergarten. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort and patience to adapt to a new environment and get used to other kids. After all, the child considered it natural that his mother should always be with him. Getting into an unfamiliar environment and losing sight of his parents, the baby gets scared and starts looking for them, expressing his displeasure by crying.

He may cry if other children hurt him. For example, they pushed him, didn’t share a toy, took away a book with interesting pictures…

By crying, he expresses dissatisfaction when something does not work out for him. For example, a child tried to put on socks on his own, but unsuccessfully. The sock turns over, the leg does not want to get into it. The baby begins to get nervous and cry, as if attracting the attention of adults to help him.

In the early years, the kids sweat a lot, recovering in diapers or sliders. All this negatively affects the condition of their skin. Therefore, it is very important to bathe them regularly. But not everyone loves water procedures and express their dissatisfaction with screams and crying, arrange “concerts”, attracting the attention of not only relatives and friends, but even neighbors who listen in bewilderment to loud screams behind the wall and painfully wonder what they are doing to the child, since he is so hysterically cries.

Tears can be the result of punishment. They generally influence mental development child. He can withdraw, become embittered, because he sees the connection between his behavior and punishment, evaluating it only as violence on the part of adults.

Punishment for no reason, when he is not at all guilty, seems especially offensive to the baby. For example, on a walk someone pushed him into the mud, naturally, he got dirty, got scared and burst into tears. Arriving home, he seeks sympathy from his mother, and she starts yelling at him, because she will have to do the laundry again. She did not understand the situation, did not ask him about how it happened. As a result, the child, crying and offended, stands in the corner, serving his sentence.

A crying child, being in a state of passion, does not perceive comments, advice, orders well, which means that it is useless to educate while crying. It is unacceptable to punish him who is crying, since he can easily forget what he was punished for, and the very state of crying is inherently a punishment for him.

There is a popular belief that children's tears are easy to dry. Indeed, the duration emotional state in children under five years old, it is relatively small, but the strength of emotions is not inferior, and sometimes even exceeds a similar state in adults.

The grief of a child over the loss of a beloved kitten is no less great than the grief of an adult who has lost loved one. And it is simply impossible to dismiss him in such a situation, even if he forgets about it in two weeks. And the fear of being abandoned in the locker room of the kindergarten? It seems to adults that 15 minutes will not change anything, and they are wrong.

Experiences and emotions require a lot of power, so do not oversaturate the baby's day with a set of events, even if they are pleasant ones. This can cause unexpected vomiting, moodiness, tearfulness, and sleep disturbance.

Chapter 2. What should parents do?

You can’t ignore the crying of a son or daughter at all. This can cause irreparable damage to trust in adults. When crying is clearly hysterical, the best thing is not to reinforce it with increased attention, but to provide an opportunity to exit nervous tension. In other cases, crying should be dealt with, which is possible only with confidential contact and a guarantee of the absence of punishment.

First of all, the baby cries, expressing natural needs. This is very easy to find out by offering him food or drink. He cries that he has a wet diaper or clothes. Check and change them. An older child, perhaps, is asking for a potty. Acting in such a situation is as easy as shelling pears: put him on the potty and stay with him, distract him with a conversation or show him a toy.

He may burst into tears if he is hot or, conversely, cold. You will determine this by the condition of his skin: the skin will be wet, sweaty, if he is hot, and cool, with pimples ( goose pimples) - if the baby is cold. Finding out the cause, try to eliminate it. In general, it is very undesirable for kids to overheat, it is more terrible for them than the cold. Do not make a sissy out of it, do not wrap it up, turning it into cabbage, this will quickly lead to diseases.

Tearfulness and whims are most often a consequence of the disease. He may scream because his tummy hurts, there is no stool for more than the allotted time. To eliminate discomfort, use a light massage of the abdomen. Massage is performed clockwise, with stroking movements. Keep your hands warm, use baby cream for a better glide of the hands over his body.

If there is no effect, remove the gases. To do this, put the baby on the left side and bend his legs, pressing them to the tummy. You can use another method - insert a gas outlet tube. Last resort if missing positive result, is an enema. Put the baby on his left side and make an enema with warm boiled water.

In the event of a serious illness, in no case do not self-medicate, because you do not know what the child is sick with. Call the local doctor at home. The first symptoms of the disease, as a rule, are lethargy, drowsiness, refusal to eat. Pay attention to the state skin, look at the neck, check the stool. Be sure to measure your body temperature.

As you know, when a child is sick, his appetite decreases, so do not feed him through force, do not give food as much as possible. Another important point: even if the baby is sick, do not force him to stay in bed. Since the constant stay in bed is accompanied by crying due to the unwillingness to lie down, know that the baby will spend no less energy on tears than on walking.

Dress him up accordingly temperature regime, but by no means half the wardrobe - overheating is very dangerous for children, especially when they are sick.

It often happens that even after recovery, a nervous and tearful state persists. Be patient. Do not answer him with your irritation and screams, but first of all, take care of strict observance of the established regimen in accordance with the condition and age of the child: put him to bed on time, feed him properly and be in the fresh air more often. Give your child as much care and affection as possible, because even an adult, when sick, requires increased attention. Try to distract him from the consequences that the disease has led to (weakness, imbalance), do not break the usual regimen, this can only do harm.

The child cries, is naughty, does not want to go to the doctor. First of all, you need to talk to him, explain why you are going to the clinic and how this visit will go. The relationship between the child and the doctor is formed through the parents, because it is they who bring him to the appointment, explain the reason for the visit, the symptoms of the disease. Therefore, it is very important to explain to him that there is nothing terrible in such a visit, that he will not be hurt there. In no case should you scare a child with injections and a hospital. Imagine that you can instill fear and dislike for people in white coats in a baby for life.

The child is naughty, cries, does not want to go to bed. Of course, because from the first days of his life he got used to your constant presence, does not want to part, leave toys and go to bed. He needs you to be around for a while. Sit on the edge of the bed, tell him something good story, a fairy tale, read a book or just look at pictures with him. You can quietly sing a song or just talk about the past day.

This will allow the baby to calmly end his day. Ask him about what interesting happened, share with him your affairs, but do it in a way that he understands. His favorite toy should be nearby so that he can reach it. After all, children love to sleep with toys. At this moment, you should give the baby maximum attention and affection, as this is very important for him and for you and helps to strengthen your relationship.

Sometimes the baby, on the contrary, is naughty because he wants to sleep, but does not fall asleep. Lull him, caress him, give him a relaxing massage. Stay with him for a while, try to set him up for sleep.

To teach your baby to voluntarily go to bed, the first step is to calm him down. Let him cry for a few minutes, then come and pet him. Gradually increase the time gap before coming to him when he starts to cry. Over time, he will realize that he was not abandoned when he sleeps, loving parents are nearby. You will let him know that you love him, that you are always with him. So he will calm down, get used to it and fall asleep without whims.

If the baby refuses to eat, do not force-feed him, do not yell at him. Stock up on patience. Say what you need to eat to grow up big and healthy, like dad; put a toy on the table and “feed” it, alternating - one spoon for the doll, the other for him. There is another well-known way - this is to eat a spoon for each of the family members: for dad, for mom, for grandmother ...

Your baby does not like and does not want to bathe. What to do in such a situation? First of all, try to explain to him why this is being done. Explain the importance of cleanliness of the body. Remember the fairy tale "Moydodyr" about a boy from whom all his clothes ran away because he was dirty. Remind him how sick he was in Lately, and try to convince him that if he bathes, he will never get sick.

Use a variety of toys that can be washed. Now there are many clockwork waterfowl toys that can distract him when bathing. Blow bubbles together. The most important thing is that you should be nearby, in no case do not leave the baby alone in the bathroom, because he can not only choke, but also be very scared of water.

Sometimes the reluctance to bathe is due to the ingress of soap or shampoo into the eyes. He keeps discomfort so he starts crying. Use special detergents for children that will not cause irritation if it gets into your eyes.

The kid is stubborn and does not want to get dressed, starts to get nervous, cry, scatter clothes. Find out why he protests. Maybe he wants to wear his favorite thing, let him, if possible, make his choice. Or, showing a thing, interest in some pattern, say that the blouse or pants are beautiful, warm and comfortable.

Sometimes the baby does not like the clothes because they are uncomfortable for him, but he cannot put it into words. If you go outside and the child objects to a warm jacket, explain that it is cold outside, show that you will also dress warmly. But in no case go on screaming, do not dress the child by force. This will negatively affect your future relationship.

The kid grows, develops, learns, acquires some skills. When something does not work out for him, he can burst into tears, scatter objects, toys. Crying in this case, he calls you for help, since he himself cannot cope. Find out what he wants. Help him to do this, but do not yell at him, and even more so do not help him silently. It might look something like this: “Let me help you. I'll show you how to do it and you'll do it again" or "Let's do it together."

The child does not want to go to a nursery or kindergarten. Keep in mind that he finds himself in an environment unfamiliar to him and the period of adaptation can be very different - someone gets used to it very quickly, while the other will need more time. After all, the baby is deprived of your presence and is very afraid to stay in an unfamiliar environment without you.

Explain to him why you are sending him to kindergarten. Try to suggest that you are not doing this to get rid of him, not because you are tired of him, you are tired or you have more important things to do, but to help him spend his time more interesting and richer.

To make the baby adapt faster, you need effort and patience. In no case should you drag the child to the kindergarten by force, yell at him and scare him that you will not take him home if he does not stop crying. Try to ensure that going to kindergarten does not become a psychological trauma for him, but, on the contrary, turns out to be a joyful event. It should be prepared in advance for this.

Arriving in the kindergarten, the baby should already have the skills to wash, dress independently, sit on the potty. Therefore, instill in him the necessary everyday skills in advance so that he has more time for games and there are no offensive problems associated with the inability to do something on his own.

Tell me more about kindergarten about what the child will do there. Be sure to say that he is already big and you are proud of him, because he can now go to kindergarten, just like you can go to work.

Try to convince him that they will not offend him in the kindergarten, that there are other children and toys there. You can take his favorite toy with you so that he is calmer, since a piece of the house and everything that he is used to is with him. Don't run away as soon as you bring your baby. Slowly undress him and lead him into the group by the hand, interest him in something so that the baby is distracted.

There are children who cannot get used to the kindergarten for a very long time, they are afraid to go there, they resist, they cry. In a group, they hide in a corner, do not play with anyone, and avoid educators. First of all, try to talk with the child, establish the reason, maybe the teachers treat him badly or offend other children?

In the kindergarten, in the course of communication, babies, like adults, may experience conflict situations. Most often this is due to toys. They can push him, offend him, take away the toy with which he wanted to play. Talk to him and, having found out the reason, try to eliminate it, but this does not mean that you urgently need to transfer the baby to another nursery or kindergarten. Be patient, act gradually, ask him in detail about what he did, with whom he played. All this will help him to believe that he will be fine in the kindergarten, and he can perfectly play with other children before his mother arrives.

As you know, children are very fond of outdoor games, they love to run and very often fall, get dirty. You can not punish for this, shout. This is natural for his age and very useful for his development. Imagine what will happen from a child if he sits quietly on a chair, having lost his usual mobility? May develop muscle weakness, he will be more prone to diseases, lagging behind his peers.

If the baby fell, hit hard, tore off his knees, do not yell at him, he is already scared. Try to calm, distract, carefully treat the wounds. Explain that it is not so scary and will heal soon.

If the baby is “overloaded” with impressions, it is difficult for him to understand and perceive a large amount of information received, to “digest” it, he begins to act up, cry. It is necessary to talk with him about his impressions, try to find out what annoys him or, on the contrary, interested him. If something is not clear to him, do not brush it off, try to explain it to him so that he understands.

In no case should you frighten and deceive a child. The shock caused by fright can have a detrimental effect on his psyche, he may begin to stutter, twitch, be afraid of the dark, loud noises, a room in which there is no one. If the baby is naughty, crying, in no case frighten him with wolves, witches and other scary characters, this can lead to the development of mental illness.

Sometimes the baby may cry because he is just bored. Try to cheer him up. Offer him something to do, do something together. Get your child interested. Look at a picture book, play something, in the end, just chat with him. Very often, parents dismiss their children, citing their fatigue, employment. All this can end badly enough. He will close in on himself, hold a grudge, and you risk losing not only his trust, but also the child as a person in general.

There is no simple and universal recipe here. However, it can be said with certainty that sensitivity and vulnerability are signs of the mental makeup of such children, the properties of their nervous system. You cannot change these innate features at will. Moreover, such means of educational influence as persuasion, reproaches, punishments, screams, ridicule will not help here, but rather even bring a negative result. Any violent measures will cause an increase in tension and excitement, weaken the baby's nervous system even more, take away strength and self-confidence.

Even the most loving parents will not be able to protect their child from life's troubles, because you can't keep a child under a glass cap all the time. Therefore, the easiest tactic in dealing with such children is not to get annoyed by their crying. But being with them is the best way to calm them down. Let him feel that you are ready to help him, because this is so important to him.

Try to switch his attention to something else, give some specific task so that it interests the baby and, of course, is within his power.

In a word, the most important thing that is required of parents is patience. Do not forget that high emotional sensitivity is closely related to responsiveness, kindness, cordiality, readiness to help, stand up for the weak, and these are very valuable human qualities!

So, as strange as it sounds, listen to baby crying, delve into its meaning, and do not try to interrupt it as quickly as possible, dry the tears of a child. Crying and Tears - Language children's communication, so do not be deaf to it just because you have forgotten how to speak it yourself.

If a child is afraid of strangers, of course, he expresses this with the help of tears. Fear of strangers is a typical form of maladjusted behavior of a baby. It is at this time that he is in dire need of your support, understanding, and protection. A calm, friendly family atmosphere helps to relieve tension and makes it easy to cope with the problem.

The child's world is still mostly limited by the walls of the house, the courtyard or the kindergarten, so the appearance of an unfamiliar face causes the baby's alertness. If a stranger behaves harmlessly from his point of view, for example, does not touch his toys, lacks his parents in an armful, alertness gradually disappears. Otherwise, it may turn into panic fear and even persistent phobia.

It is good when parents are sympathetic to this problem. This means that they will not allow themselves to commit violence against a child just in order to demonstrate to their acquaintances their achievements in the field of educating the younger generation.

If your baby is crying, do not rush to call a doctor or stuff him with pills and potions, just pat him on the head. Warm soft hands mothers touched the baby, stroked the back, tummy, chest, lingered a little longer on the forehead, and the baby calmed down.

Amazing effect, right? But there is nothing unusual about this. It has long been known that massage has a calming effect, especially if it is done by the mother. She, as it were, conveys her warmth, calmness to the baby, and he stops crying and being capricious. By showing maximum patience and attention, in the future you will be rewarded for this with the health and well-being of your child.

Chapter 3

How to win the trust of a child? How to call him to frankness? Parents very often ask themselves this question, but sometimes, unfortunately, it is too late when it is very difficult to return broken trust, respect and authority.

First of all, do not lose this trust. Indeed, from the very first days of his existence, the baby sees in you his protection and always runs to his mother when someone offends him or something does not work out for him. So do not rush to break the physical and emotional unity that arises between you and the child. Smile, talk to the baby, and it does not matter that he does not understand the meaning of your words, the main thing for him is that they communicate with him, the intonation with which you pronounce the words matters.

The unity that has been established between you and the baby from the very first days of its existence will, of course, change over time, but it will still remain the unity of mother and child, which has only passed into a new, meaningful quality. You will get rid of many problems if you become for him not only a mother, but also a friend.

The child is able to feel and understand whether he is loved, whether he is happy, whether he is treated with respect. So, it’s not enough to tell him that he is loved, he must fully find confirmation of this so that it doesn’t turn out that you tell him about your love, but in fact he feels very lonely.

Deception leads to the fact that the child gradually loses trust in adults, because at any moment he expects danger. Constant alertness unnerves him, makes him shy and whiny. In no case should you fraudulently achieve something from him.

For example, if mom went to the store, and dad says that mom will be back soon and bring something sweet, the baby begins to run from window to window in anticipation. And when the mother finally comes and does not bring the sweets promised by the father, he gets disappointed, and he cries out of resentment. If this happens repeatedly, the baby will no longer trust you.

Flaw maternal love and attention leads to the fact that the baby withdraws into himself, becomes lonely next to loved ones. But childhood loneliness is a rather terrible thing. Parents deal with their problems: career, finances, personal life, - leaving the child to himself, limiting the relationship with him exclusively to issues of care.

Communication with peers is very important. And if the baby is embarrassed to make contact with other children, he needs help. The help of adults is invaluable here. It must be introduced to other children by name, asked what they are playing and whether they will accept another participant. Usually, there is always someone among the guys who takes the newcomer under his protection, helps him get used to the new company.

But sometimes it happens that they can offend him, call him names, come up with an offensive nickname for him. After such incidents, the child closes, preferring loneliness.

It may turn out that his own misconduct, which caused severe emotional stress, made him unsociable. Playing with other children, the baby could inadvertently drop his comrade, get hit by a snowball ... The sight of blood and inconsolable sobs can have a strong impact on the psyche of the baby. As a result, he refuses the usual games, does not communicate with friends, does not go out, sitting at home for hours, and responds to all persuasion with a stream of tears.

In this case, you can not persuade him or swear. You can help him restore peace of mind by talking, explaining the situation so that his guilt complex dissipates.

The busyness of modern adults is one of the signs of our time, when parents, in addition to their main job, manage to run part-time jobs, have two jobs, and take things home. What if the child is raised by a single mother? Here the question of raising a normal, full-fledged person is very acute.

The decision to have a child is connected with the acceptance by adults of responsibility for his fate. But to consider yourself the root cause of everything that happens to him is by no means wrong. The child is responsible for his actions. It is worth asking him to do something himself, he will understand that he must be responsible for his actions. Endless instructions and parting words, and even more so lamentations and lamentations after his unseemly act, will lead him to aggression.

In order to understand your child, change his behavior, make contact or regain lost trust, you must first change yourself. Open your eyes. After all, you are accustomed to forbid everything to him and demanded unconditional obedience. It's convenient for you. But try to understand that the child has his own "I", his own affairs, aspirations, needs, independence. Realizing this, you can soberly assess your relationship with him.

Analyze your behavior, your attitude towards the baby, every gesture, word, action, put yourself in his place, and this will allow you to establish mutual understanding.

It is important to understand that education is cooperation, interaction, mutual influence, mutual enrichment (emotional, moral, spiritual, intellectual) between adults and a child.

In order to successfully raise a child, parents must certainly correct their behavior, engage in self-education, and not set bad examples. If you want to get from him the unquestioning fulfillment of your requirements, which you yourself do not actually follow, you will succeed only through coercive measures: the child will fulfill the requirements formally, because of the fear of punishment. This fear ultimately breeds deceit, hypocrisy, cunning...

Do we understand our children? To understand a person means to see the reasons for his actions, to explain the motives that prompted him to act in a certain way. To learn to understand, it is necessary to reduce the excessive demands that he is simply not able to fulfill.

It is possible to explain the child's behavior by analyzing the conditions under which its development occurs. If the baby was constantly shouted at, physically punished, he would most likely develop a need to avoid such shocks and, as a result, such negative traits as deceit, fearfulness, distrust, aggressiveness will appear ...

If the baby was protected from labor and adults did everything for him, the child becomes lazy, weak-willed, will avoid any business, which means they will pretend, fawn, trick, deceive.

Another option is when the baby was simply spoiled: they bought expensive things and toys, they did not refuse him anything. Such a child develops exorbitant claims, but at the same time an inability to protect things and appreciate the work invested in them. Remember that a lack of communication cannot be filled expensive toys, things, unquestioning fulfillment of all his desires.

The baby will develop poorly intellect, thinking, the ability to experience, interest in knowledge, if you have not read books to him, communicated little with him. After all, intellectual inclinations are laid with early childhood, so communicate with him, teach him to love books, but do not force him to read - you will get the opposite, negative effect.

Sometimes parents are very zealous in the education of their children. From an early age, they hire tutors, give them to prestigious kindergartens and educational institutions with special biases, load music schools, dancing, etc. But somehow they forget to ask him himself about whether he likes all this. Note that a very small number of children are engaged in singing, dancing, music with pleasure.

Do not load the baby with what he is not interested in. Try to find out his addictions and find the appropriate occupation. Give him the right to choose, the right to decide for himself what to do.

Develop children's abilities from early childhood. Awaken attention in their soul, excite ideas and observation. To do this, use a variety of objects, learn to describe them, talk about their purpose. Develop mental capacity which will help the child to find himself in the future.

To develop a child's feelings of love, compassion, you can get some kind of pet. He will proudly tell everyone that he has a hamster or a kitten. Show your child how to properly care for him, what to feed him, how to treat him in general. If you notice that he offends the animal, explain that he is also alive and it hurts. Tell that the animal has lost its parents, it is very lonely, and it needs someone to take care of it.

Teach him to take care of the animal himself, and you will see what the result will be. This will instill in him not only a love for nature and animals, but will help him understand his significance, the need for someone, and relieve the feeling of loneliness. The child will look at your relationship with him with different eyes, which will help strengthen them.

Understand that what the baby is doing is extremely important for him, even if it seems to you that this is not so. Let me give you an example from my own practice. A young mother came to see me and said: “Once my son came up to me and asked me to play with him. At that time, I was watching an interesting program and explained to the baby that I was busy now, and I would play with him later. After a while, when I went into the child's room, I saw that he was putting a toy under the bed, then taking it out and putting it back in. I called the child to dinner, to which I received the following answer: “I’m busy now, I’ll come later.”

The woman did not know how to react to such an answer. This was repeated many times. I explained to the young mother that the child imitates her in everything, and, in his opinion, what he does is very important for him. Therefore, he does not understand his mother's indignation at his behavior. After all, he was waiting for an important program for his mother to end. So why doesn't she want to wait?

Sometimes, in order for a child to understand what care and respect is, he himself needs to take care of someone. For example, you come home from work, you are tired, you have a severe headache, there are troubles at work. The kid looks at you inquisitively, wondering why you are in such a state. Ask him to bring you a drink. Tell him, without going into details, that you were offended at work, let the baby show sympathy, let him pity you. So he will understand that you need him, you cannot live without him.

If you notice a tendency to lie in your baby, try to discover the reason. Often lies arise from fear of punishment. Do not punish him too severely, the more you should avoid bodily cruel punishments. Try to find out why the child lied, delve into his problem. Maybe, after talking with him, you will save him not only from this vice, fear, but also from other complexes.

Let the baby show his importance, reckon with his desires (reasonable, of course!). After all, self-expression is the main, urgent need of human nature.

Let your baby participate in your activities, whether you're cleaning the floor or making breakfast. It is very important for him to feel that he is trusted to do something on an equal basis with adults. After all, children from an early age begin to imitate their parents, very quickly absorbing everything they see and hear. Involving a child in some business not only teaches him to work, but also brings him closer to his parents. Such a child will treat his parents with respect and understanding, to what they do.

It is not necessary to entrust the baby with something difficult, with which he is not able to cope. Give him a task that he can complete: wash his cup, wipe the dust off the table, finally put his toys away. Praise him, say that he helped you a lot and without him you would not have coped.

In no case do not scream if the baby is trying to do something that he is not able to handle. See how he tries to do it, help him. Tell him he's good.

If, for example, you decide to sew something for yourself, and your daughter is spinning next to the doll, involve her in your occupation. Give me scraps of fabric, let him do something too. If she can't do something, help her. Do not forget about praise, because it means a lot to a child.

Or another situation: dad is making a shelf in the hallway. The little son is spinning nearby, grabs tools, nails, “gets confused” underfoot. Do not chase him away, do not be afraid that he will hit his fingers with a hammer or drop the tool on his foot. Let him help, say that without him nothing will work. Give such a task that he will happily complete it and that it is safe for him. You will see an amazing result when the son proudly tells everyone that he and his dad made a shelf.

Very positive effect on the relationship with the child joint games which carry not only pleasure, but also educational information. Children's games are their main occupation, but they should be directed in such a way that they arouse the harmonious activity of all the mental faculties of the baby, avoiding one-sidedness.

Offer him a speed game, for example, who will collect the pyramid faster. Of course, you should give in, and when the baby proudly shows that he did it first, praise him.

Playing with the baby or doing some business, you get closer to him. The child is interested in you, you are one.

Walking has a very positive effect on family relationships. You have probably often seen a picture when a baby, holding tightly to the hands of his father and mother, proudly walks for a walk. Run with him, play some games, swing on a swing, roll in the snow or throw snowballs at the target. Joint walks not only cheer up, contribute to a better physical development baby, but also strengthen relationships.

Small children, it would seem, at such an unintelligent age, surprisingly subtly perceive any, including the most intimate, feelings of their parents. IN normal conditions exactly harmonious combination These feelings create a feeling of confidence and happiness in the child.

In order for mutual understanding and trust to exist between you, you must give all your love and attention to the baby, from early childhood teach him to work, respect adults, and value friendship. Give him as much attention as possible, do not dismiss his childhood problems as an annoying fly.

Try to become a true friend to your child, and then you will see his shining eyes and understand that for him you are not just a mother, an object of adoration and admiration, reliable protection and support, you are his most faithful and reliable friend.

A newborn baby does not yet know how to communicate, and so far he can only declare any change in his condition by crying.

Of course, the mother first of all needs to learn to understand her baby. None of the babies scream just like that. But it happens that the baby cries for no apparent reason, and the parents no longer know how to calm him down.

What to do first

You need to try to act according to the algorithm:

• Mom or another person caring for the baby needs to pull himself together, calm down. You can temporarily transfer the child to another family member.
• Find out why the baby is crying.
• Eliminate the cause of the anxiety.

Peace of Mind for Mom, Peace of Mind for Baby

Infants are very sensitive to the mood of adults. The baby can be nervous when he feels that his mother is restless. Therefore, it is impossible to calm the child, being in a state of stress.

A baby's cry can be long and exhausting. Not every mother will be able to remain calm in such a situation. In this case, you can resort to the help of loved ones and ask one of the relatives to replace the mother.

And mom will have time to rest and gather strength. It is very important to remain calm, noticing that a tantrum has begun in a baby. A baby can only be reassured by someone who radiates calmness and confidence.

Why do babies cry

A baby never cries for no reason. Even if at first glance the essence of the problem is unclear. There are several main reasons why a baby cries:

• Hunger.
• Cold or heat.
• Feeling of discomfort.
• Fear.
• Boredom.
• Overwork.

If it is not clear what specifically caused the crying, you can try to eliminate each one in turn.

The baby cries when he wants to eat. Even if he has recently eaten, it is likely that something distracted him, and the baby looked up from food before he was full. The baby may swallow air during feeding and experience a false sense of fullness. When excess air burps, the place in the stomach will be freed up, and the baby will again feel hungry. In any case, it will be useful to offer the child to eat.

The body of young children has difficulty maintaining a constant body temperature. Any changes in ambient temperature are hard to perceive by the baby. Mom must examine and touch the child.

If top part the back of the baby is hot to the touch - he is overheated. If it is cold, and at the same time the child tries to move a little, he is cold. Next, you need to create comfortable conditions for the baby - either warm him up, or undress him, or replace clothes with lighter ones.

When dressing a child, it is important to choose things that are comfortable for the baby. Any fasteners located on the back or on the tummy, when the baby already knows how to roll over, can cause him discomfort. Sloppy seams, tight elastic bands - all this will not go unnoticed by the baby. Perhaps he cries because of the discomfort caused by clothing.

Any sharp sounds or bright lights can scare the baby. If the mother noticed something like this, it is necessary, first of all, to eliminate the source of fear of the baby.

Perhaps the child is crying because he is bored. The kid is tired of being alone, he requires the attention of an adult. At first, the baby begins to groan softly, giving signals. If they are left without attention and the mother does not come soon, the child may begin to become hysterical. Do not delay and wait for the child to scream. It is advisable to approach him when he is just starting to act up.

Overwork is a common cause of whims. Tantrums happen at the end of the day when the child is tired. His day was long and eventful, he got a lot of new impressions. The nervous system, unable to cope, gets rid of stress in this way. For children, an established regimen is important, timely going to bed, the correct alternation of activity and rest. Children who live according to the regime are more calm and self-confident.

Crying can be caused by pain

All these reasons are taken into account provided that the child is healthy. If none of the methods helps to calm the baby, perhaps something hurts him.

There are some physiological states not associated with the disease: indigestion, infantile colic. These conditions cause discomfort and pain in the child. It is advisable for mom to examine the baby: whether his tummy is swollen, whether there is a rumbling.

If the child is on breastfeeding, it is advisable for mom to track her diet. Perhaps the baby reacts to certain foods.

If colic is the cause of concern, the baby can be offered fennel-based tea, which has a calming and digestive effect. Sometimes the child may refuse to take the medicine. Then a nursing mother can include this tea in her diet. Chamomile tea is good for digestion. Before using any means, you should consult your doctor about the methods, duration of administration and dosage.

With colic, it is also important to establish feeding, make sure that the baby takes the breast correctly, does not swallow air when feeding from a bottle, does not overeat and burps excess air in time.

If redness, a rash is noticed on the baby’s body, he has a fever, he spits up profusely, refuses food, while screaming heart-rendingly, you should see a doctor or call an ambulance as soon as possible. Perhaps the reason for crying is in the disease, and the baby needs treatment.

0 to 3 months

For infants, there are several ways in which they can be easily soothed. The baby, living in the womb, is used to certain conditions. The memory of this state is preserved for up to three months. Some actions will remind the baby of his intrauterine life. This will give him a sense of confidence and calmness.

What are some ways to help your little one calm down?

• Swaddling.
• wiggle.
• Monotonous hiss.
• Side laying.
• Sucking on a pacifier or breast.

Trying to calm the child, you can alternately use all the techniques. Gentle swaddling reminds the baby of his stay in the womb for recent months pregnancy, when he no longer had enough room for free movement. When the mother moved, the baby experienced swaying throughout the pregnancy.

Monotonous hissing is the sounds that reach the baby: maternal breathing, food moving through the esophagus. The position on the side with legs tucked in resembles an intrauterine position. Sucking is one of the first reflexes that wake up in a child. While still inside the mother, the child actively begins to suck her thumb. Then this skill helps him get food from his mother's breast or with the help of a pacifier.

From 3 months to 1 year

Methods that work for babies under 3 months old are no longer suitable for older children. From three months old, the baby is interested in the world around him with might and main, this can be used for his benefit. The easiest way to save a baby from a tantrum is to abruptly switch his attention to another subject.

First of all, it is necessary to eliminate the causes of crying. But if it came to hysteria and the baby does not want to calm down, you can suddenly interest him in something. Mom, watching the baby, will definitely notice what objects, sounds or situations can capture his attention. For example, a baby fascinates how the light burns.

At moments of crying attacks, you can bring the baby to the included lamp, which he will examine with curiosity.

These situations are individual. Universal prescription No. All children have their preferences. For the mother, the main thing, studying the interests of the baby, is to offer him at the right time something that will distract him.

It will be easier to calm the baby before bedtime by following a ritual that will symbolize the baby that it's time to sleep. Soothing baths can be one of the ritual items. Warm baths taken at night help to relax and tune in to sleep.

You can take baths with soothing herbs. Melissa, chamomile, sage, valerian, motherwort are suitable for children. Dry herb tea is pre-brewed and added to the water before taking a bath. Herbal tea, absorbed through the skin, has a relaxing effect. Baths with infusion to improve sleep must be used in a course.

Excessive use of the infusion can cause the opposite effect, before any use medicinal herbs it is necessary to consult a doctor.

On sale there is a special children's collection - herbal tea that helps the baby calm down before going to bed. In pharmacies, children's drops of natural or synthetic origin, which have a hypnotic effect, are common.

Before using herbs, medicinal tea, drops that have a hypnotic effect, you should consult a specialist. All these drugs can not be prescribed independently. Any of them has contraindications, side effects and must be dosed correctly.

After the bath, the child should be put to bed immediately. It is necessary to lay the baby at night no earlier than three hours after daytime sleep.

A crying baby is always trying to signal a problem. The first thing parents should do is to understand the situation, find out the reason why the baby is crying. Perhaps, after the elimination of the cause, the hysteria will immediately stop.

Some babies, due to their temperament, find it difficult to calm down. They are active during the day and hardly go to sleep. A certain ritual can help mothers, symbolizing the baby that the night has come and it's time to fall asleep. Soothing baths taken before bed can become part of such a ritual.

When all else fails, pharmacies offer a large selection of remedies, such as soothing teas, drops, and other medications. Do not forget that any medicine must be prescribed by a doctor. And even harmless herbal tea can cause the opposite effect or allergies. Therefore, any medicine can be used only after consulting a specialist.

“A healthy child throws tantrums! Where does it fit?!” - this is how grandmothers usually react to children's tears, and often moms and dads follow them. But crying and screaming in the first year of life, when the baby is not yet able to speak, are absolutely natural: for a newborn, this is practically the only way inform adults about your desires or that something is wrong with him. A healthy and well-groomed baby will not cry for no reason! And the faster the mother comes to the aid of the child when he complains about something, the less his nervous system suffers and the more favorable impression he has about the environment - the house in which he lives.

Do not listen to those who say: "Cry and calm down." You can’t spoil a baby under a year old! But at this age, you can either create confidence in the safety and reliability of this world in the baby, or destroy it.

Why does a child throw tantrums?

The reasons for crying may be different, but one thing unites them: the baby feels discomfort, which the mother must notice and eliminate in a timely manner. So, how to calm a tantrum? Here is an approximate classification of the causes of crying, which will help parents quickly navigate the situation and calm the baby.

1. HUNGER is one of the most common reasons why infant throws tantrums. Distinguishing "hungry" crying from other types of tantrums is quite easy: the baby starts crying later certain time after feeding, make sucking movements with your mouth, “catch” the breast, stretch out the handles. At the same time, crying is demanding, loud, the face is compassionate. If the mother does not give him a breast or a bottle, he becomes choking and hysterical. How to calm the tantrum in this case? If crying is caused by hunger, after feeding the baby will immediately calm down.

2. INTESTINAL COLIC. Arise due to the immaturity of the enzymatic systems of the child, allergic reactions, malnutrition of a nursing mother. In the intestines of the baby, gases accumulate and press on the walls, causing pain. How to calm the tantrum caused by colic? First of all, note that the crying is intermittent, in fits. The baby lets out a piercing shriek and cries, and then calms down for a short period. While crying, he can pull up his legs. Feeding does not eliminate crying, and the baby begins to scream immediately after eating. Fight colic in the following way. Try to warm the baby, take him in your arms, hug him to you. Place a heating pad on your tummy warm water or a film folded several times and ironed with a hot iron. Helps often vent pipe: gases will move away, and the child will feel lighter. There are also special drugs that are not absorbed by the intestines, but act only on the gas bubble, breaking its wall and thus relieving the baby from pain (before using them, you should consult a doctor!).

3. DISCOMFORT. It is not uncommon for a child to throw tantrums if they simply wet the diapers or "fill" the diaper. Avoid diaper rash, they make babies uncomfortable and, of course, cause crying. The same thing happens if some kind of crumb gets under the clothes, or there are seams or applications on the clothes that can prick or rub the delicate skin of the baby. The baby may cry if he is just tired of lying in one position and wants to roll over. And sometimes he wants to talk or does not want to sleep, and they are trying hard to put him to sleep - in this case, the protest is guaranteed.

4. OVERFATIGUE. Babies get tired very quickly due to the hyperexcitability of the nervous system. The baby is tense, crying after being awake, eyes can be closed - this is a sign of overexcitation, fatigue, inability to fall asleep. This type of tantrum is often accompanied by yawns, whimpers, emotional expressions of anxiety and resentment.
The baby first loses interest in the world around him, after which he begins to move restlessly, whimper or cry loudly. How longer baby cries, the more tired. It is important to know that the baby is not always able to calm himself down and fall asleep: the greater the fatigue, the stronger and longer he will cry. How to calm a toddler's temper tantrum? In this situation, the following tricks will help you:

• Place the baby on your chest or stomach. The warmth of your body and the sound of your heartbeat will soothe him, reminiscent of life inside your mother's tummy and induce a feeling of comfort.
• Change position. For example, carry the baby vertically or, conversely, lay it horizontally. This method allows you to relieve muscle tension or reduce the load on some muscle group.
• Ventilate the room. tributary fresh air will give the child the opportunity to breathe deeper, and normal ventilation of the lungs will increase the flow of oxygen to the brain.
• Change the lighting. Maybe too bright light hurts the baby’s eyes, or, conversely, is it very dark in the room? Accordingly, either close the curtains, or turn on a dim light.
• Turn off the TV and ask others to be quiet. Perhaps the baby is just scared of loud and sharp sounds.
• Sing a lullaby. Even for the smallest children, lullabies have a calming effect, their rhythms are consonant with the rhythm of sleep that our brain generates.

5. PAIN. Crying is even, incessant, with occasional outbursts of desperate screaming, the child goes into hysterics, which, in all likelihood, is associated with increased pain. In such crying, it is as if suffering is heard.
If worried about the tummy, the baby, screaming, twists its legs, pulls them to the stomach. Such pains should be closely monitored, since, in addition to the usual colic, there are dangerous pains in the abdomen (for example, with intussusception), which require urgent surgical intervention.
When the baby is teething, in addition to crying, he will pull everything into his mouth, he may experience increased salivation. The child will be capricious, his temperature will rise, liquid stool. Weeping is tedious, prolonged, with loud splashes at night.
Crying with otitis - then the child pulls his ear (or both at once). As a rule, in newborns, acute (inflammation of the middle ear) occurs as a complication of intrauterine infection or against the background of a runny nose. Crying is loud, piercing, with painful intonations. The baby, having barely begun to eat, throws the breast and refuses to start eating again for a long time.
The baby may also refuse to breastfeed and cry because of the inflammatory process on the mucous membrane of his oral cavity.
Finally, sometimes babies cry before peeing. If this happens systematically, then the baby may have inflammatory process. If crying while urinating is accompanied by fever, you need to see a doctor.

6. OVERHEATING OR UNCOOLING. Thermoregulation in infants is immature, so babies quickly overheat or overcool, and react to discomfort with tears. How to recognize the symptoms and how to calm a tantrum? When the child is hot, he blushes, begins to whimper, release his arms and legs, toss and turn in the crib. Red spots appear on the skin - prickly heat. Crying intensifies and the temperature may rise (up to 37–37.5 °). If the baby is cold, at first sudden and piercing crying gradually becomes whimpering, hiccups begin. The arms and legs are cold to the touch, the skin on the chest and back is cool.

7. INFANT MIGRAINE- a special cause of children's tantrums. Some babies who have been diagnosed with hypoxia during pregnancy or childbirth suffer from a headache due to increased intracranial pressure, disorders of the nervous system, hyperexcitability. Such children are often meteorologically dependent: they react sharply to changes in atmospheric pressure, weather changes - for example, they behave restlessly when strong wind, rain or snowfall. The baby will “inform” you about a headache with prolonged crying, which is difficult to appease. It will be difficult for the baby to calm down, he will refuse the breast or bottle, and a pulsation can be seen in the fontanel.

8. ATTENTION DEFICIENCY. Another very trivial reason your child throws tantrums is boredom! Your baby is just very lonely. At the same time, he cries intermittently, with open eyes: as if calling and listening, checking if anyone is nearby. If nothing happens as a result, the crying becomes continuous. How to calm a tantrum? Just take the baby in your arms, talk to him, entertain, console.

How to calm a tantrum and how to respond to a crying baby

First of all, find out the cause of crying by using the method of elimination. Maybe the baby has a dirty diaper or wants to sleep? Next, check the clothes (perhaps he is cold or, conversely, too hot), the condition of the stroller or bed: is everything clean, smooth and comfortable, is there any diaper rash or rashes on the baby's skin? If the baby is crying, take him in your arms, give him a breast or a bottle. Screams when held? Shake, gently talk to him, show something interesting.

The recipe for “letting you cry” when a child throws a tantrum is far from the most effective and certainly not the best. Crying drains your baby's strength and lowers oxygen levels in the blood.. Try not to let the baby cry for more than 10 minutes. Firstly, the longer he cries, the more difficult it is to calm him down later. Secondly, it is not so safe: too violent long-term crying can cause respiratory affective spasm - respiratory arrest, which is fraught with fainting and even convulsions.

The main rule, in any, even the most unpredictable, situation: the more confident the mother, the calmer baby. But it is a completely different matter if you notice a sudden or unusual crying for your child. If no obvious causes of concern are found, and the baby continues to scream and fight in hysterics, it is better to play it safe and call a doctor: he will be able to examine the child and give appropriate recommendations. After all, even newborns can have an acute surgical pathology(intestinal volvulus, strangulated hernia, appendicitis), inflammation, squeezing nerve endings and causing pain, and congenital anomalies accompanied by pain syndrome.