Childhood fears. Children's fears: types, causes, ways to deal with children's fears

Toolkit prepared for parents of preschoolers, as well as parents of younger children school age. It addresses issues related to the causes of children's fears and ways to overcome them.

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MINISTRY OF EDUCATION OF SARATOV REGION

TOOLKIT

"CHILD FEARS AND WAYS TO OVERCOME THEM"

teacher-psychologist MOU "Gymnasium No. 58"

Saratov, st. Ponomareva, d. 11/11, kV. 36,

tel. 893724441310

e-mail: [email protected]

The methodological manual has been prepared for parents of preschool children, as well as parents of children of primary school age. It addresses issues related to the causes of children's fears and ways to overcome them.

Reviewer: candidatePedagogical Sciences O.S. Ezhevatova

The methodological manual was prepared by the teacher-psychologist of the MOU "Gymnasium No. 58" E.V. Sokovnina.

Introduction………………………………………………… page 4

Children's fears and the reasons for their appearance…………………p. 5

Manifestation of fears. Their varieties………………….. page 7

Dependence of the nature of children's fears on the age of the child…………………………………………………………. page 9

How can you help your child overcome fears? Tips for Parents…………………………………………………….. page 11

Conclusion………………………………………………… page 15

References………………………………………... p. 16

Introduction

Do you know that a monster lives under the bed, a skeleton is hiding in the closet, and the evil Baba Yaga strives to kidnap a gaping child? No? Then ask the children - they will not tell you that.

Fears are a normal phenomenon for the child's psyche, the reverse side of the self-preservation instinct. Many of them pass with time and cause only a smile in adulthood.

There is even a concept age fears- typical for a certain stage of development and reflecting the knowledge of children about the world around them. By their presence, one can judge the correspondence of mental and mental development a child of his age.

But there are also those that interfere with the normal activity of the child, his adaptation in the team and leave an imprint on the whole later life. How to deal with them, we will tell in this methodological manual.

Children's fears and their causes

Each of us directly or indirectly met with manifestations of childhood fears, whether it be the fear of the dark or the fear of people in white coats, the fear of loneliness or something unknown, and therefore certainly terrible. As a rule, the reaction of adults to children's fears is very different. Some parents start to panic and immediately begin to give the child sedatives. Others simply do not pay any attention to the child's experiences, believing that with time it will pass by itself, while others begin to scold and even punish the child, believing that the child invented all the fears in order to receive certain relaxations in discipline and additional privileges. With admission to school, the number of children's fears may increase, since during the period of adaptation to new conditions, the general level of anxiety of the child increases. At this point, it is very important to pay attention to this in time and take a number of measures to prevent the occurrence of children's fears.

Childhood fears - a very common problem in raising a child. The manifestations of children's fears are very diverse. Some children have nightmares when the child wakes up crying and calls for his mother, demands that adults sleep with him. Others refuse to be alone in a room, they are afraid of the dark, they are afraid to go out onto the stairs without their parents. Sometimes there are fears for parents, children are worried that something will happen to their mom or dad. Someone refuses to ride downhill, overcome obstacles, swim in the pool, someone runs away from an approaching dog, does not stay alone, does not go to the doctor ...

The causes of children's fears are also varied. Their appearance directly depends on the child's life experience, the degree of development of independence, imagination, emotional sensitivity, a tendency to worry, anxiety, timidity, insecurity. Most often, fears are generated by pain, the instinct of self-preservation. Most of them are due to age-related features of development and are temporary. Children's fears, if you treat them correctly, understand the reasons for their appearance, most often disappear without a trace.

However, along with such fears, there are others - persistent neurotic fears. These are fears that neither a child nor an adult can cope with. They serve as a signal of trouble, they speak of the nervous and physical weakness of the child, the wrong behavior of the parents, their ignorance of psychological and age characteristics, the presence of fears themselves, conflict relations in the family. They are painfully pointed or persist long time, distorting the personality of the child, negatively affecting the development of his emotional-volitional sphere and thinking. This is the case when a child needs professional help from a psychologist.

There are several reasons why fear arises.

The first and most obvious reason isspecific case who scared the child (bitten by a dog, stuck in an elevator). Such fears are the easiest to correct. But not all children bitten by a dog develop a persistent fear that is noticeable to others. This largely depends on the characteristics of the child's character (anxiety, suspiciousness, pessimism, self-doubt, dependence on other people, etc.). And these character traits can arise if the parents themselves intimidate the baby: “If you don’t sleep, Baba Yaga will take it!”.

The most common areinspired fears. Their source is adults (parents, grandmothers, educators), who involuntarily, sometimes too emotionally, warn the child about the danger, often without even paying attention to what scared him more: the situation itself or the reaction of an adult to it. As a result, the child perceives only the second part of the phrases: "Don't go - you'll fall", "Don't take it - you'll get burned." It is not yet clear to the child what this threatens him with, but he already feels anxiety, and it is natural that he has a reaction of fear, which can be fixed and spread to the initial situations. Such fears can be fixed for life.

Another one of the most common causes fear -childish fantasy. The child often invents an object of fear for himself. Many of us in childhood were afraid of the dark, where monsters and ghosts came to life before our eyes, and monsters attacked us from every corner. But every child reacts differently to such fantasies. Someone will immediately forget them and calm down. And for some, this can lead to irreparable consequences.

Feelings of fear may develop due tofamily conflicts. Very often the child feels guilty for the conflicts of the parents or is afraid to be the cause of them.

Often the cause of fear isrelationships with peers. If children's team does not accept the child, he is offended, then the baby does not want to go to kindergarten, school, it is likely that he is afraid of being humiliated. It can also be caused by the spread of fears among children. For example, a stronger child may bully the toddler with different stories.

I would like to note another important reason that affects the manifestations of fears - this iswrong upbringingAnd destructive attitude to the child. As a psychologist, I see this in my practice almost every day. Lack of attention, and vice versa, overprotection can become the basis for the emergence of fears in children. From my own observations, I can say that “family idols” have a much higher degree of anxiety, and hence the number of fears, than children who lack the attention of their parents.

The last reason is the presence of a more serious disorder - neurosis to be diagnosed and treated medical workers. A manifestation of neurosis can be considered those fears that are not the norm for a given age of the child, or a very strong manifestation of fears that are included in the concept of the norm.

Pathological fear is indicated by its extreme, dramatic aspects of expression (horror, emotional shock, shocks) or a protracted obsessive, intractable course, involuntariness, that is complete absence control by

manifestations of fear. Their varieties

Sometimes the expressions of fear in children are so obvious that they are not conveyed in the comments, for example, horror, numbness, confusion, crying, etc. Other fears can be judged only by a number of indirect signs: the desire to avoid certain places, conversations and books on a certain topic, embarrassment and shyness.

The unifying beginning for fear and anxiety is a feeling of anxiety. In a state of anxiety with a predominance of anxiety, motor excitations, inconsistency in actions, often excessive curiosity and the desire to occupy oneself with any, even unnecessary, activity are noted. Characterized by intolerance to expectation, which is expressed by haste and impatience. The pace of speech is accelerated, sometimes in the form of a difficult-to-control flow of words. Older children, adolescents, are characterized by verbosity, excessive thoroughness in explanations, continuous sounds, which creates the appearance of employment, a feeling of uselessness, eliminating in some cases the fear of loneliness.

For a state of anxiety with a predominance of fear are typical: slowness, stiffness and "trampling in one place." Speech is inexpressive, thinking is viscous, the mood is sometimes gloomy and depressed.

In a state of chronic anxiety and fear, a person is in tense expectation, easily frightened, rarely smiles, always serious and preoccupied. Excessively tired, he is characterized by incoming headaches and spasms in various parts of the body. Sleep is restless, there are often sleep-talking, noisy breathing. Constantly haunted by nightmares. Communication is selective, contacts with strangers are difficult.

The most common manifestations of fears are those that are directly related to the situation in which this fear arose. For example, I was approached by the grandmother of a 3-year-old kid who was afraid of a fire in the house. Everything that was connected with fire terrified the boy. It got to the point that parents had to change the stove with gas burners to an electric stove. As soon as the child heard the sound of a fire engine, he began to cry violently. No one could figure out where it came from?! From a conversation with the boy, it turned out that once, when they were walking with their grandmother, there was a fire somewhere nearby and grandmother's curiosity later became the cause of the manifestation of fears in the child. In my practice, there were many cases when children were afraid to raise their hands in class, knowing the material, for fear of saying something wrong. Naturally, then they were asked at the most inopportune moment, and then fear simply paralyzed the child. And so it happened from time to time, as a result of this, academic performance fell. I had to work with a girl who was terribly afraid of turning away her friends and girlfriends for fear of losing their respect for herself. As a result, the condition of the girl grew into deep depression, as the children very quickly learned to take advantage of her weakness. There are a lot of such examples and they all have different reasons, but the result is the same - the fear that lives nearby manifests itself in different ways and affects life in different ways. The more parents know about the causes that led to fear, its manifestations, the faster and easier it is to get rid of it.

Psychologists conditionally divided fears into 3 types, the basis of this division is the subject of fear, the features of its course, duration, strength and causes of occurrence.

So, obsessive fears- the child experiences these fears in certain, specific situations, he is afraid of the circumstances that may entail them. Such fears include, for example, fear of heights, closed and open spaces, etc.

delusional fears - the most severe form of fears, the cause of which cannot be found. For example, why a child is afraid to play with a certain toy or does not want to wear certain clothes. Their presence often indicates serious deviations in the mind of a child. However, do not rush to make any diagnosis. Perhaps the reason will be quite logical. For example, he is afraid to put on certain shoes, because he once slipped and fell in them, hurting himself, and now he is afraid of a repetition of the situation.

Overvalued fears- the most common type. They are associated with fixed ideas and are caused by the child's own fantasy. In 90% of cases, practicing psychologists are faced with them. At first, these fears correspond to some life situation, and then they become so significant that the child cannot think of anything else.

The fear of the dark can be attributed to children's overvalued fear, in which the child's imagination settles terrible witches, werewolves and ghosts, fairy tale characters, as well as the fear of getting lost, attacks, water, fire, pain and harsh sounds.

The dependence of the nature of children's fears on the age of the child

No matter how strange it may seem, but the children of the first year of life are also subject to children's fears:

Fear of a new environment. Surely, any mother noticed how the baby changes, as soon as he gets into an unfamiliar environment.

Fear of losing mom. This fear is so common that it simply does not make sense to describe it. However, unfortunately, very often such fear is taken for spoilage.

Fear of strangers.

However, in most cases, the fears of such crumbs are absolutely natural and as the child grows up, they disappear without a trace.

Between the ages of one and three years new children's fears appear, the unwitting culprits of which are the crumbs' parents:

Children's fear of the dark is the most common. Very often, parents themselves provoke such fears, scaring the child with a “babyka” and other mythical characters.

Fear of being alone even for one minute. As a rule, this fear arises precisely because the parents considered the need of the baby of the first year of life as ordinary spoiledness and the baby was deprived of constant close contact with his mother.

Night fears. In most cases, they are an extension of the fear of the dark. Remember that watching some modern cartoons can significantly aggravate the situation.

For age category three- five years, the most typical fears are:

Panic fear of being alone.

Children's fears of the dark.

Also at this age, some parents are surprised to notice that their crumbs have a fear of confined spaces, for example, the child may suddenly begin to refuse to enter the elevator or begin to demand to leave open door to the bedroom. Psychocorrection of such childhood fear is obligatory, otherwise this fear may surface in adulthood, turning into claustrophobia.

Children's night fear at this age is caused by fairy-tale characters, so a child at this age identifies them with very real people.

At the age of 5 - 7 years, the syndromes of children's pathological fears become much more diverse. The horizon of the child is expanding, and with it, new fears may appear in the life of the child.

Night fears in children 7 years old new form- the child begins to be afraid to fall asleep, because in a dream he sees scary dreams. And this is a very serious burden on the nervous system of the child, so the correction of night fears for 7 years is simply mandatory.

There is a fear of punishment. As already mentioned, this is a very disturbing signal that the relationship between parents and children is not all right. Psychocorrection of children's fears of punishment should begin with a change in the approach of parents to the process of raising a child. It has long been recognized that the physical impact on the child does not bring anything but harm.

Under the influence of adult conversations, watching TV shows, a child may develop an overwhelming fear of animals, most often dogs. By the way, adults often reinforce this fear by overprotecting the child.

At this age, the child is faced with such a sad phenomenon. human life like death. However, the child still cannot fully comprehend this, and therefore the child develops a childish fear of his own death, the death of his parents.

In addition, children's fear of death, as a result, entails the emergence of fear of all kinds of fires, natural disasters, accidents, and so on.

Children between the ages of 7 and 11 have new fears associated with a new stage in their lives.

Fear of school.

Fear of the team caused by difficult adaptation.

Fear of getting a bad grade.

The age of children from 11 to 16 years is the most difficult period in the formation of the psyche. Therefore, parents should treat the manifestations of fears in adolescents with special attention and understanding

Fear of not being yourself (physiological and physical changes: not satisfied with them)

Fear associated with the instinct of self-preservation (death of parents, oneself, fear of war, fear of attack, illness, fear of confined space, etc.)

Knowing all this, parents should treat their child with understanding and participation at any age.

How can you help your child overcome fears?

Tips for parents

Children's fears and ways to correct them in children of preschool and school age have long been the object of close study by psychologists around the world. At this time, several basic methods are used to identify children's fears and correct them, which are described below.

We draw fears. Drawing is great way how to get rid of a child's fear. For drawing, it is best to use paper sheets and paints. Ask your child to draw something that scares him. Draw with him, depict your version of events. After the drawing is complete, ask the child to describe the drawing. Be sure to ask your child clarifying questions. If the kid drew a wolf, ask him if it's a boy or a girl. If the picture shows a fire, ask the child to name the cause of the fire. Actively support the conversation, praise the child.

After that, tell the baby in a language he understands why his fears are in vain, if necessary, back up your words with drawings. After you make sure that the child understands you, you can arrange a "ritual burning" of negative drawings. However, do not forget about the rules of fire safety - for these purposes, the bathroom is the best fit.

Keep in mind that one such session is not enough to rid the child of fear. It is possible that you will need at least two weeks to achieve success. Such sessions should be held regularly, since it is possible to overcome children's fear only with systematic exercises.

As a rule, such drawings help to overcome the fears that arise as a result of the game of a rich children's imagination, that is, they are fictional, and not occurred in reality. A little less often, drawing helps to free the child from fears caused by some real event, for example, a dog bite or a fall from a height. However, such a tool is unacceptable to use if very little time has passed since the incident - this will significantly aggravate the situation.

In order to save the child from fears associated with problems of social adaptation, fear parental punishment, enclosed space, psychologists advise using subject - role-playing games.

"Fifteen". The meaning of the game is as follows: you must designate playground where the players are. The leader must catch up with the participants. The one who is caught up becomes the leader. The atmosphere during the game should be as friendly and fun as possible. Be sure to take part in the game yourself, periodically succumbing to the child.

This game helps the child get rid of the fear of punishment. In addition, it perfectly helps to restore lost trusting relationships between parents and children.

The well-known and since childhood favorite game "hide and seek" is also excellent tool to overcome the child's fear of the dark, confined space and feelings of loneliness. For best results, let your child lead. Discuss in advance those places where you can’t hide, then turn off the overhead light, leaving only a nightlight or a working TV.

As for older children, adolescents, the main points in overcoming fears and painful emotional experiences are a confidential conversation. Tell your child about your fears and experiences at this age, discuss his problems, share your experience as you yourself or someone from your mutual friends experienced similar situation and managed to overcome fear.

It is important to offer the child help when he asks for it and to set a goal for him when he is mentally ready to accept it and follow it.

However, remember that if the child shows signs of fear, or refuses to play at all, in no case force him, so as not to aggravate the problem even more.

In the same case, if you are unable to cope with children's fears on your own, and you do not know how to deal with their consequences, you can always seek help from a child psychologist who will tell you how to get rid of children's fears. As a rule, the problem can be eliminated in any, even the most severe and neglected case, but it is advisable not to waste time so as not to injure the child's psyche.

And now it's time to give some extremely useful advice parents. After all, it has been scientifically proven that in 95% of all cases of children's fears, parents are directly or indirectly involved in this.

Taking care of the psychological health of the child must begin even before his birth. Child psychologists note an interesting pattern - the calmer the pregnancy was, the less often children subsequently have any childhood fears. So try, no matter how trite it may sound, to be less nervous during pregnancy.

Recommendation for mom: no matter how high a position you hold at work, remember that a child is not your subordinate, he needs not a strict leader, but a gentle and loving mother. It has been noticed that in children of domineering, strict mothers, children's fears are much more common, and in a more severe form. Treatment of children's fears is very complex and often requires the use of pharmacological drugs.

In no case should a child be allowed to feel abandoned and unnecessary. Even if you spend almost all your time at work, or if your youngest child was born, or for some other reason you don’t have the strength at all, you need to overcome yourself and pay attention to the child. In the absence of adequate treatment of children's fears caused by a sense of their own "uselessness", in adolescence this problem can lead to suicidal tendencies in the child.

However, it is also not worth instilling in a child a sense of one's own exclusivity. Selfish thinking also often leads to the emergence of a fear of losing one's exclusive position, which has the character of an obsession.

Try not to limit the child in communicating with peers - this will lead to fears of school life.

Never compare your child with other children. In no case should you cite as an example to the baby the successes that his peers have achieved. This is likely to lead to a decrease in the child's self-esteem.

In no case do not scare the child with dogs, doctors or policemen.The child takes such threats very seriously.

Speaking about how to overcome children's fears, I would like to note the pleasant fact that, fortunately, almost all children's fears are temporary and can be perfectly corrected. However, this requires parents to take seriously this issue. And a few more wishes.

You should not engage in "hardening", that is, if the child is afraid of the dark and sleep alone, do not lock him in the room, "to get used to it." You will scare the child even more, but this is the least that can happen. The consequences of such "hardening" are sad: neurosis, stuttering, developmental deviations.

Do not treat the fears of children as whims, all the more so you cannot scold and punish children for "cowardice."

Do not belittle the importance of fear for the child himself, do not ignore his complaints. It is important to let the child feel that you understand him well: it is usually impossible to explain to the baby that "monsters" do not exist.

Constantly reassure the child that he is completely safe, especially when you, the parent, are next to him. The child must trust you.

Talk to your child about their fears. the main task parents - to understand what exactly worries him and what caused the fear.

Try to distract the child. For example, when he starts to panic, keep him busy playing, watching something. Talk to your child more!

Support the child, but do not go on about. For example, if a child is afraid of fire, you can not turn on the gas stove in his presence, such indulgence will calm the baby, but will not relieve him of fear.

Conclusion

From all of the above, we conclude that the changes taking place with the child require a restructuring of the relationship between the adult and the child, changes in the parents themselves. Therefore, dear parents, please help your child! Make his life bright, interesting, rich, teach him to rejoice and be surprised and rejoice with him, appreciate every moment of life.

Remember that it can take from a couple of minutes to several weeks or even months to fight fear. Whatever method you choose on your own or together with a psychologist, the success of defeating children's fear primarily depends on how sincerely and kindly you extended a helping hand to your child and your readiness to change yourself in order to help the child.

We firmly believe that a person who grows up in an atmosphere of love and respect, surrounded by cheerful, flexible and sensitive parents, is the least susceptible to fear, is self-confident, loved by others and is capable of much in this life.

Bibliography:

Zakharov A.I. "How to prevent deviations in the behavior of a child" - M., "Enlightenment", 1993.

Zakharov A.I. "Day and night fears in children" - Soyuz Publishing House, St. Petersburg, 2000.

Allan Fromm "ABC for parents or how to help a child in a difficult situation", Thomas Gordon "R.E.T. Increasing parental efficiency. - Yekaterinburg: Publishing House of ARD LTD., 1997.

Alla Spivakovskaya "Psychotherapy: play, childhood, family" / Volume 2 - LLC April Press, CJSC Publishing House EKSMO - Press, 2000.

Parishioners A.M. "Anxiety in children and adolescents: Psychological nature and age dynamics" - Moscow-Voronezh, 2000.

Markovskaya I.M. "Training of interaction between parents and children" - St. Petersburg: Publishing House "Rech", 2000.

Parental education.

Subject: Children's Fears and Ways to Overcome Them

Target:identify the causes of fear of children of primary school age;

suggest ways to overcome them.

Class:3

Class teacher: Gonysheva S.V.
“We all come from childhood…” – said Exupery. This is where most of our fears come from. Fear is a natural emotion inherent in all people, the same as joy, amazement, delight. Children's fears are due to the age-related characteristics of the child's psyche and as the child grows up they disappear without a trace, but sometimes they lead to the fact that the child's behavior changes: he becomes insecure, overly anxious and incapable of harmonious interaction with the outside world. There are several reasons for this:

Excessive anxiety of parents. Parents themselves have many fears, and these fears are transmitted to the child. Sometimes children can get used to the increased anxiety of their parents and perceive it as a background, nothing more. But more often it happens in a different way, and in anxious parents anxious children grow up with many phobias and fears.

Hyper-care. The desire of parents to protect the child from problems prevents him from developing, and as a result, can lead to excessive anxiety and fears. In this regard, the only children in the family are especially vulnerable.

Parents bullying children. I think you have heard some parents say, “If you don’t be obedient, the doctor will give you an injection”, “I will give you to Baba Yaga.” The most interesting thing is that later these parents may sincerely wonder why the child is afraid of doctors or why he has nightmares. The child should not be scared, unfortunately, many parents forget about it.

The situation in the family has a great influence on the formation of children's fears. Fears in children are more common in families where there are conflicts between father and mother, and in families where parents work hard and actively participate in public life to the detriment of the family.

Child neglect. More often, children who are left to their own devices, deprived of parental attention, suffer from fears.

Traumatic situations. Fright experienced by a child can cause fear. For example, even a small dog with its barking can scare a child so that he will be afraid of dogs for many years.

And yet, the main reason for children's fears is the rich imagination of children, which is why children's fears often appear at the age of 4-6 years, when the development of imagination and emotional sphere accelerates sharply.

For each period of a child's life, there are characteristic fears.

Fears can start to form as early as prenatal period. Mother's negative emotions cause a release a large number stress hormones into the bloodstream, hormones that pass through the placenta into the baby's bloodstream can cause anxiety. Therefore, the prevention of children's fears must be dealt with even before the birth of the baby. It must be remembered that pregnancy is not a time for sorting out relationships, building a career and hard work.

The next period of formation of fears is the age of up to 1 year. From the age of 7 months, the child already distinguishes mother well from other adults and is anxious if she is not around. The age from 7 to 18 months - the so-called separation period - is not the best time for a mother to return to work. If it is necessary to work, then it is better to start it after the child is 18 months old, at this age the anxiety from separation from the mother decreases. At 8 months, a distinct fear of strangers appears, during this period of life it is important to limit the child's contacts with strangers. Cases of the persistence of fear of strangers for life are described only because a child at 8 months was left without a mother for a long time, for example, in a hospital, surrounded by strangers.

From 1 to 3 years - the age when the child separates his "I" from the personality of the mother. At this age, he requires more and more independence. It was at this time that the well-known crisis of the third year falls. If the child is given relative freedom and given the opportunity to choose, then the level of anxiety will not increase, respectively, there will be fewer reasons for the appearance of fears. According to studies, the main fears of children from 1 to 3 years old are: fear of unexpected sounds, fear of injections, fear of loneliness. At the same age, there may be a fear of falling asleep, associated with the appearance of nightmares. If a healthy microclimate reigns in the family, family roles are distributed correctly, enough time is given to the child and enough independence is given, then such fears are not very pronounced and quickly disappear.

The age of 4-6 years is the most favorable age for the development of children's fears. The main fears characteristic of this age: fear of loneliness, darkness and confined space. Darkness frightens children with its uncertainty, the child is afraid of the monsters that may be there. It can be Baba Yaga, witches, scary animals, cartoon characters. At this age, the child often asks to leave a burning nightlight in the bedroom, not to close the door tightly at night. At this age, the opportunity for communication between the child and peers is of great importance. A child who has the opportunity to play with other children is less prone to various fears.

At the age of 6-8 years, the fear of death or its analogues comes first: the fear of getting lost, the fear of being eaten by a bear or wolf, the fear of getting infected and getting sick, the fear of heights. Children may be haunted by nightmares associated with their own death or the death of their parents. At this age, it is not recommended to leave children for a long time and carry out painful manipulations or operations, if possible.

For the age of 9-12 years, the following fears are typical: fear of not meeting the expectations of parents and teachers, this is especially true for children with increased level anxiety, fear of being different from everyone else, fear of natural disasters, mystical signs (belief in omens, in the fatal power of the number "13"), the fear of losing parents also remains relevant. To reduce the level of anxiety, parents should not compare them with other children, make excessive demands on them, it is necessary to encourage independent execution school assignments, and does not seek to complete them instead of the child.

In adolescence, obsessive fears (phobias) and obsessive doubts can develop. The following fears come to the fore: the fear of doing something funny or ridiculous, the fear of an enclosed space, neuroses of obsessive actions may appear. As a rule, the appearance of a phobia is preceded by an episode of real failure, and the fear of its repetition makes the experience painful. Doubts may arise in adolescents about their appearance, it seems ugly to them, about their ability to please peers of the opposite sex, it seems to them that no one loves them and cannot love them. These fears are more pronounced in families where parents are distinguished by excessive adherence to principles and pedantry, do not forgive children for the slightest mistakes.

How can you help kids deal with their fears? A few tips for parents:

1. Do not scare the child.

2. Don't shame or punish your child for being afraid. His fear is not a whim or a whim. It is useless to advise "pull yourself together and stop being afraid" or not be afraid because "only girls are afraid."

3. Do not leave the child alone if the situation is not familiar to him or if a traumatic factor, such as a dog, may suddenly appear in it.

4. Satisfy the child's curiosity. Sometimes parents get very tired of endless “Why?” and “What is this?”, but the more incomprehensible, the more fears. If the child does not get an answer to his question, he may come up with one, and his fantasy may be frightening. At the same time, the information should correspond to the age of the child, not be too much for him. There is no need to focus his attention on fires, natural disasters, death, and so on.

5. Recognize the child's right to fear and show empathy for him without fear that this will increase his fear. The child should feel that you understand and do not judge him.

Corrective techniques for overcoming children's fears:

1.Games:

- one of the simplest, but at the same time effective games, is a game of hide and seek. It helps to get rid of the fear of darkness, loneliness, closed space. The maximum effect of the game is achieved if you play in the dark.

Tunnel game. Tunnels are created, they can be made from chairs and blankets, and the children take turns trying to overcome them. Used for fear of confined spaces.

The game "Corridor", children and adults form, as it were, a corridor, depicting dogs sitting on a chain. The task of the child is to quickly run along the corridor when the dogs are "sleeping". Helps to overcome the fear of animals, before a sudden attack.

The game "Kochki". Chairs are arranged so that the child can move from one chair to another with one step. Purpose: to reach the finish line along the “bumps”. If someone stumbled, “fell into the water”, you need to get up and move on. After everyone overcomes the obstacle, the game becomes more difficult, adults and children stand behind the chairs and say: “You can’t!”, “You won’t succeed!”. The next stage, when they begin to interfere with the player to overcome the obstacle: sharp attacks, unexpected attacks. The game allows you to overcome the fear of depth and self-doubt.

2. Drawing fears. The child is asked to draw what he is afraid of. It is better if the task is given not by parents, but by an authoritative adult. There is no need to be afraid that when drawing, fears become more real for a while, this is the first step in overcoming them. Next, the child should talk about his fear, if the child is not afraid to do this, then this is already big success. Then the adult takes the drawing, as if he takes fear for himself and closes it.

3. Role-playing games are very effective in overcoming fears. They are especially relevant if the child is afraid of some animal, fairy-tale character or one of the people, such as a doctor. It is better if at first the child plays, depicting, for example, a dog, and the adult is afraid of him, then they change places.

4. Overcoming fears through a fairy tale. It is better if it is a fairy tale invented by one of the child's parents who know about his fears. The plot is simple: a bunny (a mouse, a chicken...) is afraid of a wolf (being left alone, darkness...), then somehow he overcomes his fear.

Now let's talk about specific fears and ways to overcome them.

Fear of animals or large insects. The method of gradual addiction will be effective. You need to start with pictures that show the animal that the child is afraid of. Then, when the picture no longer seems very frightening, you can start reading fairy tales about this animal. If the child feels good about this and is not afraid, then the next step is a soft toy, such as a puppy, in case the child is afraid of dogs. And finally, if possible, getting to know a real puppy. It is important not to rush, if the game causes negative emotions in the child, it is necessary to abandon it for a while.

Fear of doctors. Overcoming fear can be started by reading the fairy tale about Dr. Aibolit and discussing this fairy tale. Then a game where the adult becomes the patient and the child the doctor, then they change places. Once again, it is very important never to scare a child with doctors and the hospital. Before visiting a doctor, especially if painful procedures are coming, you should not lie to the child that it will not hurt, it is better to honestly explain to him the need for the procedure, lose it. Otherwise, in addition to fear and pain, the child will experience disappointment from deceit.

Fear of the dark. good effect provide games. Mom can hide with the child under the covers, as if they are mice in a mink, at first the child will try to leave some space for the light to pass through, then he will get used to playing in complete darkness. You can diversify the game of hide and seek in such a way that not people hide, but toys, that is, an adult hides toys in different rooms, the light is turned off in one of them, and the child must find them.

Do not try to act with the help of force, forcibly turning off the light and leaving the baby in the dark, alone with his fears. Leave him a night light or leave the door ajar. If a child is afraid of any specific items, put them in another room at night. Have your child sleep with soft toy who will guard him at night.

Nightmares and associated fear of falling asleep. To overcome this fear, you need to limit TV viewing, carefully select the fairy tales that you read to your baby, they should not contain scary scenes. You can also invite the child to draw what he dreamed of, and then burn this drawing.

Fear of monsters, ghosts, monsters. The first is play therapy. Try to make friends with the source of fear. Remember the cartoon "Baby Raccoon"? Do not try to fight him, this will only increase the tension of the child. In extreme cases, you can use the "Magic Spray" (a bottle with a spray thermal water, on which you stick a piece of paper with the appropriate inscription). Teach your child to “puff” at the window (scary owl), under the bed (ghost, Baba Yaga), etc. Also use drawing to identify fear and deal with it.

Fears are a certain stage in the life of your child, there is nothing pathological in them, if they are not protracted and do not prevent the child from growing up and adapting to life. In most cases, consultation with a child psychologist is not required, and all your child needs to put fear behind is your attention and your love.

Causes of children's fears. Types of fears. Overcoming children's fears. Tips for teachers: what to do if the child is afraid. Tips for parents. The norm of fears for preschoolers. Abstract of a lesson on the correction of fears in children 4–5 years old.

It is human nature to be afraid of something. And even more so for a child: after all, he is surrounded by such a huge and as yet unexplored world. Sometimes a baby can be frightened by what any adult will seem absolutely safe.

Fears appear in 40% of children and can echo during adulthood. Therefore, the task of every parent, educator and teacher-psychologist is to help the child cope with his fears in time.

Fear is the most dangerous emotion. This is a reaction to a real or imaginary (but experienced as reality) danger. The human body is designed in such a way that the fight against fear cannot last long. At the biological level, the reaction to fear is the release of a large amount of adrenaline into the blood, which causes hormonal explosion. On a psychological level, it is a fear of situations (objects, people, events) that entail the release of this hormone.

Fears in children appear with cognitive activity when the child grows and begins to explore the world. It develops in society, and adults play a leading role in education. Therefore, on how literate our words and behavior will be, depends mental health baby.

Causes of children's fears

There are several reasons why fear arises.

The first and most obvious reason is specific case who scared the child (bitten by a dog, stuck in an elevator). Such fears are the easiest to correct. But not all children bitten by a dog develop a persistent fear that is noticeable to others. This largely depends on the characteristics of the child's character (anxiety, suspiciousness, pessimism, self-doubt, dependence on other people, etc.). And these character traits can arise if the parents themselves intimidate the baby: “If you don’t sleep, Baba Yaga will take it!”.

The most common are inspired fears. Their source is adults (parents, grandmothers, educators), who involuntarily, sometimes too emotionally, warn the child about the danger, often without even paying attention to what scared him more: the situation itself or the reaction of an adult to it. As a result, the child perceives only the second part of the phrases: "Don't go - you'll fall", "Don't take it - you'll get burned." It is not yet clear to the child what this threatens him with, but he already feels anxiety, and it is natural that he has a reaction of fear, which can be fixed and spread to the initial situations. Such fears can be fixed for life.

Another of the most common causes of fear is childish fantasy. The child often invents an object of fear for himself. Many of us in childhood were afraid of the dark, where monsters and ghosts came to life before our eyes, and monsters attacked us from every corner. But every child reacts differently to such fantasies. Someone will immediately forget them and calm down. And for some, this can lead to irreparable consequences.

Feelings of fear may develop due to family conflicts. Very often the child feels guilty for the conflicts of the parents or is afraid to be the cause of them.

Often the cause of fear is relationships with peers. If the children's team does not accept the child, he is offended and the child does not want to go to kindergarten, it is likely that he is afraid of being humiliated. It can also be caused by the spread of fears among children. For example, a stronger child may bully the toddler with different stories.

The last reason is the presence of a more serious disorder - neurosis that must be diagnosed and treated by healthcare professionals. A manifestation of neurosis can be considered those fears that are not the norm for a given age of the child, or a very strong manifestation of fears that are included in the concept of the norm. The norms of fears for children of different ages are given below.

Types of fears

There are three types of fears. The classification is based on the subject of fear, the features of its course, duration, strength and causes of occurrence.

obsessive fears- the child experiences these fears in certain, specific situations, he is afraid of the circumstances that may entail them. Such fears include, for example, fear of heights, closed and open spaces, etc.

delusional fears- the most severe form of fears, the cause of which cannot be found. For example, why a child is afraid to play with a certain toy or does not want to wear certain clothes. Their presence often indicates serious deviations in the psyche of the baby. However, do not rush to make any diagnosis. Perhaps the reason will be quite logical. For example, he is afraid to put on certain shoes, because he once slipped and fell in them, hurting himself, and now he is afraid of a repetition of the situation.

Overvalued fears- the most common type. They are associated with fixed ideas and are caused by the child's own fantasy. In 90% of cases, practicing psychologists are faced with them. At first, these fears correspond to some life situation, and then they become so significant that the child cannot think of anything else.

Children's overvalued fear includes the fear of the dark, in which the child's imagination settles terrible witches, werewolves and ghosts, fairy-tale characters, as well as the fear of getting lost, attacks, water, fire, pain and harsh sounds.

Overcoming children's fears

Studying the literature on the problem of fears in children preschool age, teacher-psychologist and educators of the State Educational Institution " Kindergarten 1289" came to the conclusion that correction work should be carried out in a complex manner, using a variety of means and methods of psychological influence (game therapy, fairy tale therapy, projective methods, methods of relaxation and self-regulation).

The correctional work of a teacher-psychologist in our preschool educational institution is carried out in several directions:

• counseling;
• lectures-seminars (for parents, teachers);
• poster material for parents and information leaflets for teachers.

Work on the correction of fears takes place in several stages.

1st stage- acceptance of applications by a teacher-psychologist from parents or educators for diagnosing fears in a child.

2nd stage- Conducting work by a teacher-psychologist with children and their parents on the basis of appropriate methods.

3rd stage– discussion of the results of the diagnosis of the child with the teacher and parents. At this stage, ways of joint work on solving the identified problems are outlined.

4th stage- Carrying out correctional activities with the child. The correctional group is formed from children of middle and senior preschool age. Classes are held for three weeks, each lasting 20-30 minutes. Cycle - 15 lessons.

As an example, Appendix 2 provides a summary of a lesson on correcting fears in children 4–5 years old.

5th stage- re-diagnosis of the child's fears, the results of which are also discussed with the teacher and parents.

This corrective work, in our opinion, is the most effective in helping children overcome fears. What we clearly see in our work.

Tips for teachers: what to do if the child is afraid

Tips for parents

1. You should not engage in "hardening", that is, if the child is afraid of the dark and sleep alone, do not lock him in the room, "to get used to it." You will scare the child even more, but this is the least that can happen. The consequences of such "hardening" are sad: neurosis, stuttering, developmental deviations.
2. Do not treat the fears of children as whims, all the more so you cannot scold and punish children for "cowardice."
3. Do not belittle the importance of fear for the child himself, do not ignore his complaints. It is important to let the child feel that you understand him well: it is usually impossible to explain to the baby that "monsters" do not exist.
4. Constantly reassure the child that he is completely safe, especially when you, the parent, are next to him. The child must trust you.
5. Talk to your child about their fears. The main task of parents is to understand what exactly worries him and what was the cause of fear.
6. Try to distract the child. For example, when he starts to panic, keep him busy playing, watching something. Talk to your child more!
7. Support the child, but do not go on about. For example, if a child is afraid of fire, you can not turn on the gas stove in his presence, such indulgence will calm the baby, but will not relieve him of fear.

The norm of fears for preschoolers

Fear	Age, years
	boys					girls
Stay home alone
attacks
get sick, get infected
Death of parents
strangers
get lost
Moms and dads
Punishments
Baba Yaga, Koshchei the Immortal, Barmaley, etc.
nightmares
Animals
Transport
Natural Disasters
small cramped spaces
Large rooms, streets
Harsh, loud sounds

Abstract of a lesson on correcting fears in children 4–5 years old

Tasks:

• help children cope with their own fears;
• teach methods of relaxation and self-regulation;
• to reorient the child, to help transform scary images into the category of defenseless and unfortunate, who should be pitied and protected;
• using projective methods to teach children to track their own feelings, as well as the emotions and experiences of other people;
• increase the child's confidence in himself and his abilities.

Lesson progress:

Acquaintance. Game "Affectionate Name"

Target: help children remember each other and make contact.

Educational psychologist:

Remember how you are affectionately called at home. We will throw a ball to each other. And the one to whom the ball hits calls one or more of his affectionate names. In addition, it is important to remember who threw the ball to each of you. When all the children have called their affectionate names, the ball must be thrown into reverse side. You need to try not to confuse and throw the ball to the one who threw it to you for the first time, and in addition, pronounce his affectionate name.

(Children do the exercise.)

Exercise "Needle and thread"

Target: to activate children, to create a working mood in them.

(Children stand one after another, putting their hands on the belt in front of the one standing.

The first child is a "needle". He runs, changing direction.

The rest - "thread" - run after him, trying to keep up.)

Game "Alien Drawings"

Target: give children the opportunity to discuss their own and others' fears.

(Each child draws his own fear.

The teacher-psychologist hangs the drawings on the blackboard.

Children look at them and take turns telling

what they drew and what they are afraid of.)

The game "I'm afraid"

Target: give children the opportunity to actualize their fear and talk about it.

(Children quickly pass the ball to each other. The one who received it must name that
or other fear (“fear”) and pass the ball to the next.)

Parting

The teacher-psychologist and the children say goodbye, remembering what was interesting in the lesson.

A.F. Dvoinova,
pedagogical psychologist of the State Educational Institution "Kindergarten No. 1289", Moscow

The child grows, develops, learns the world around him and reacts to it in accordance with his genetic predisposition, personally lived experience, characteristics of the character, upbringing and behavior of his parents. Fear is a natural human reaction to objects that pose a real or perceived threat. Children's fear usually differs from an adult in its short course.

Among the factors influencing the occurrence of fears in a child, one can single out gender, because according to statistics, girls are more prone to fears than boys. The number of children in the family also affects - one child, due to a high emotional attachment to his parents, experiences more fears than the owner of brothers and sisters. Also, the cause may be childhood neurosis. Any family conflicts contribute to the emergence of neuroses in children, because the child is inclined to blame himself for everything that happens. We can say that this is a signal that there are problems in adult relationships.

What other reasons can provoke fear?

Kinds

Children's fears can be divided into biological (natural) and social. The first, of course, are natural fears, which are based on the instinct of self-preservation. These include fear of the dark, sharp sounds, monsters, animals. Over time, fears of one's own and parental death are added, as well as a fear of thunderstorms, water, fire, heights and confined spaces. After meeting people in white coats, there may be a fear of doctors, injections, blood, dentistry. Biological fears are usually inherent in children under 8 years of age.

Social fears begin to appear a little later. Older preschoolers and first-graders begin to experience fear of being late, loneliness, punishment, discontent of parents and significant adults.

There is another classification of fears, which implies division depending on the frightening object or situation, the causes of occurrence, and the specifics of the course.

• overvalued - these are natural fears, fueled by the fantasy of the child. This group is the most popular and extensive;
• childhood phobias - this includes fears of heights, water, closed spaces- those fears that can be in the adult state;
• delusional fears - they include fears that are inexplicable from the standpoint of the norm. Very often, phobias can be provoked by some kind of erroneous stimulus, that is, for example, a child failed when he was visiting certain person. IN unconscious kid a connection has been established and the next time this person appears, he may be frightened.

Developmental psychology specializes in the characteristics of each period of human development. Fears are an important component, each age has its own characteristic items, disturbing and human anxiety.

0 - 1 year - loud noises, noise, absence of mother, strangers, dressing up;

1 - 3 years - night terrors, nightmares, unusual location of familiar objects, change of scenery, separation from parents;

3-5 years - height, water, darkness, animals;

5 - 7 years - death of parents and one's own, loneliness, characters of fairy tales;

7 - 9 years - disapproval of adults and peers, punishment, lateness;

9 - 12 years old - inconsistency with classmates and friends, academic failure, own appearance.

When diagnosing children's fears, it is also supposed to be divided into three groups, depending on the severity: low, medium (age norm) and high. According to statistics, more than half of children of eight years old demonstrate high level fear. Least of all children have a low degree of severity of fears.

Features of manifestation

Manifestations are very different. In a mild form, this may be a rapid pulse, dilated pupils, trembling, and other somatic symptoms. Depending on age, fright can be expressed by screaming, crying, complaining, and outright horror and panic. Peculiarities of children's fears are that they arise in periods and usually last no more than a month. However, there are fears that can stay with a person until adulthood and develop into full-fledged phobias. These include acrophobia, hydrophobia, thanatophobia and others.

Possible various manifestations child's fear. For example, the fear of nightmares is detected at the time of going to bed, the baby will ask to go to bed with his parents or categorically refuse to fall asleep alone. The fear of a fabulous monster, generated by a child's fantasy, provokes a child to hide in a closet or other secluded places. At the age of 6, the fear of death is most acutely felt, it is the basis for most manifestations of fear:

• monsters;
• animals;
• darkness;
• attacks;
• illness;
• natural elements.

Schoolchildren have new fears associated with learning activities. The trepidation of being judged by adults, the fear of being late for class, the fear of not being oneself. Some children, even those who study normally and do not have special behavioral problems, Parent meeting also causes anxiety. Fear of punishment is often experienced by those who have never been physically attacked.

The psyche of the child is formed under the influence of the environment in which he lives. Often parents unwittingly become a catalyst in the development of children's fear. In no case should you devalue the complaints of the baby, try to shame or assure that there is nothing to worry about. Helping a child overcome fears is possible only with attentive behavior, understanding and love. Ask in detail small child about what worries him. Understand and approach the problem consciously.

Do not forget that your own heightened anxiety will definitely affect the behavior of your children.

How to deal with childhood fears

You can overcome children's fear with the help of a professional psychologist. There are many methods used by specialists when working with children of a certain age. Starting from the age of 4 years of the client, the psychologist-consultant uses fairy tale therapy and art therapy to work with phobias. Psychocorrection occurs quite quickly, with proper support from parents.

fairy tale therapy

Fears in preschool age are effectively eliminated using this technique. Let us analyze in detail the stages of working with a therapeutic fairy tale using the example of a 5-year-old boy who was afraid of injections.

1. Of the toys available in the office, the kid was asked to choose the most attractive to him. He chose Spider-Man.
2. The psychologist offers a little client to listen to a fairy tale about Spider-Man. The fairy tale has a certain structure that disposes the child. Its protagonist has mass positive qualities, and only one small problem - he is afraid of injections. The therapist points out that this fear is quite natural.
3. After that, the psychologist falls silent and invites the boy to express his assumptions about what exactly scares Spider-Man.
4. After listening to all the arguments of the client, the therapist offers him to choose from the remaining toys, another hero who will help Spider-Man. The boy chose Cheburashka.
5. Both toys are placed side by side, and the psychologist invites the client to think of how Cheburashka will help Spider-Man in overcoming the fear of injections.
6. The kid tells his version of the happy ending of the fairy tale. After that, the psychologist is interested in the feelings of the client. Then he offers to find him the positive features that he and Cheburashka have. Separately, those “magic” words of Cheburashka stand out, which helped Spider-Man cope with the fear of injections.

Art therapy

Art therapy helps a lot to get rid of children's fears. This direction in psychotherapy is based on healing by art, in its various manifestations. Most often, visual art is implied, however, there are methods of music therapy and dance therapy. In working with phobias in children, art therapy has very high rates. Consider the standard sequence of actions of a psychologist-consultant during a session with a child.

1. Establishing contact with the child, building a trusting relationship.
2. An offer to portray your fear. It can be a drawing or a sculpture.
3. Analysis of the result. The psychologist carefully evaluates all aspects of the drawing: what is depicted, where exactly, what sizes, whether the child himself is depicted, with what pressure the lines were drawn.
4. The child is offered to love the object that he depicted. For example, a painted or sculpted dog is not really evil, but simply barked at the child on duty.
5. The kid begins to rethink his attitude, it is possible to sympathize even with the object of fear.
6. At the end, the child is asked about the emotions that he experiences.

Drawing fear effectively works when the object is generated by fantasy, or by events that happened a long time ago. Sometimes working with a drawing happens differently: the client is offered to add something, for example, cross out (shade) a frightening image, or destroy the entire sheet (tear into small pieces, burn). After the symbolic ritual, the psychologist draws the attention of the child that fear no longer exists.

One of the main tips for parents of children who are prone to any kind of fear will be to carefully consider their behavior with the child. You need to understand that up to a certain age, a child is exclusively the “result” of your attitude, behavior, upbringing. And if he upsets you with something, or it seems that he does everything to spite you, it means that you are somehow, unconsciously provoking this. Therefore, the correction of the child's behavior is directly related to changes in the behavior of adults.

Parental counseling is the main goal of a psychologist who has brought a child with a problem. Unfortunately, it often happens when a mother comes to a child psychologist and demands to “cure” her child, while she is sure that her own behavior does not need to be corrected.

The psychologist helps the child, and during the time between sessions, such a mother unconsciously nullifies all the progress made. At the same time, she rejects all the recommendations of the specialist, arguing that everything is fine with her, and the problem of her child needs to be solved. Therefore, if your baby has a phobia that has not gone away within 3-4 weeks, be sure to contact a psychologist, and the consultation will be useful for both the child and the parent.

In order to convey useful information to parents, psychologists working in children's institutions create special corners. Lately in some kindergartens it has become fashionable to place so-called slide folders in the rooms where parents are expecting children. They are informational materials for parents, staff and the children themselves. These are specially designed stands with useful tips psychologists and speech therapists.

Sigmund Freud's collection Psychoanalysis of Childhood Fears includes an analysis of a five-year-old boy's phobia - this is the case of little Hans - very famous in psychoanalytic circles. I will not go into the details of illness and cure, however, although Hans was Freud's patient, I want to draw attention to the author's own preface. He said that the described case was observed not by him personally, but by the father of Hans, who carried out all the treatment, only with the support of a psychoanalyst.

Freud highly appreciates the merit of the boy's father and even expresses the idea that only his own father could achieve such confessions from Hans. Coincidence tender feelings with scientific interest led to such important results, both for psychoanalysis in general and for the life of a particular boy.

Tells about the child's fears child psychologist European Medical Center Maria Zvegintseva in the next video

conclusions

Children's fears are natural age features associated with understanding the world. If the child does not get hung up on fear, and fear is not present for more than a few weeks, then there is no need to worry. In case of protracted processes, you need to contact a psychologist. Techniques help fight children's fears: art therapy, fairy tale therapy, sand therapy. Consulting parents is the key to successfully getting rid of your baby's phobia.

Fear is a normal emotion of any person, caused by the need to preserve life or life values. This feeling is not only the norm, but also a necessity, as it helps us avoid mistakes or even danger.

Children's fears and ways to correct them in preschool children is one of the most discussed topics among psychologists and parents. It is important to understand that the feeling of fear, although it is the norm, it always deserves attention and the need to help the child cope with them.

Types of children's fears

The peculiarity of children's fears is that, as a rule, they are not associated with a real threat, but are a reflection of the information that children receive from adults and pass through the prism of their imagination. Fears are an inevitable part of development; more than half of children experience them. We single out three main groups of fear in preschool children.

• Situational (based on own experience). Such fears are quite logical - they arise as a result of experienced stressful situations: a dog bite (or just a dog scared), a painful procedure in the hospital. It is not surprising that after this the baby will be afraid to get into such a situation again.
• Personally conditioned (fantasy). The fantasy of children is limitless, and if it is backed up by reading fairy tales and watching cartoons, waiting for the appearance of monsters and baboons under the bed is quite normal.
• Suggested. Unfortunately, these are the most common fears in children. Often we hear parents say: “Sleep, otherwise someone else’s uncle, a wolf, a babayka will take away”, “Don’t go - you will fall, you will fall under a car, you will be robbed ...”. And it turns out that the subtext in such warnings always sounds: “You will be in danger, and I will not come to your aid, because only you will be to blame.” In addition, increased anxiety can be transmitted to a child if the family constantly talks about how dangerous it is to walk the streets, how harmful it is to watch modern movies (read books), that war and death are all around, that all products are of low quality and carry danger . In other words, we ourselves teach our children to be afraid.

Every age has its own fears. So, for example, children from birth to 6 months are afraid of sharp sounds, separation from their mother; from 7 to 12 months, fears of dressing up, fear of strangers, a sharp change in scenery, heights may be added; from 2 years - fear of loneliness, health workers, fear of falling asleep associated with nightmares; 3-5 years - fear of darkness, water, confined spaces, punishments; 6 years - fear of his death and the death of his parents, fire, war. Of course, this refers to the average time.

Why do they arise

• Genetic predisposition, temperament type. Some children are born with hypersensitivity and emotionality.
• Hyperprotection. Excessive control will sooner or later lead to the fact that the child will begin to be afraid of everything: animals, the street, other people's children and adults, etc. Undoubtedly, such a child will be more “comfortable”, because he is always nearby and does not climb anywhere, but this will prevent him from socializing normally.
• Tension at home. Drinking family members (and, accordingly, dangerous), a single mother or father, dysfunctional relationships between parents, excessive severity in relation to the child - all this can lead to constant feeling anxiety and nervousness.
• stressful events. Divorce of parents, trauma, long-term treatment in the hospital.
• Psychological disorder. Too strong or age-specific fears that can lead to neurotic states. Here you need to consult a specialist, otherwise fears can develop into phobias.

How to help a child

Your child's fears may seem stupid and irrational to you, but for him everything is very serious and real. Don't smile or chuckle when your toddler talks about being afraid of the neighbor's poodle or the monster under the bed. He should know that you understand him and are ready to help at any moment. Fears won't go away if ignored. Let us consider in more detail the most common childhood fears in preschool children and ways to deal with them.

Darkness

"I can't see what's there, so I feel insecure." Most children are afraid of the dark (and not only children) - this is a fear of the unknown. Try to teach your child to be friends with darkness. Leave the light in the yard turned on at night (if you live in a private house), light a night lamp in the bedroom, thus allowing the baby to control the amount of light at night. It can be gradually reduced. Help your child understand the darkness - go for a night walk, talk about things that can only be seen in the dark: the moon, fireflies, crickets, etc.

Monsters

"They hide under my bed and wait for the right opportunity to hurt me." Even if you know for sure that monsters do not exist, there is no point in proving this to a child, because his imagination is much stronger than your logic. Look before going to bed in all the "dangerous" corners of the room, make sure that in this moment there is no one and you can sleep peacefully. You can come up with a "monster warder". For example, type in the sprayer magical water and spray it in the room every time before going to bed. And don't forget to hang a "No Monsters" sign above your bed!

Bad weather

"The howl of the wind and the thunder is scary, so I need mom and dad to protect me." Tell the child to accessible language what is the weather, try to interest this topic - this is good way overcome fear. Play outside in windy weather and light rain, make a simple nature calendar so that the child can mentally prepare for tomorrow's weather. If you live in an area with frequent natural disasters, develop a plan for what to do in case of danger. So the child will have a feeling of greater control over the situation.

Nightmares

"I'm afraid to fall asleep because I dream bad dreams". Often children are afraid to fall asleep due to nightmares. Even if the child still speaks badly and cannot talk about his dreams, you can always find out from his behavior: crying before going to bed and after waking up, restless sleep, unwillingness to sleep alone. Dreams often reflect our well-being - mental and physical. If the child is healthy, then you need to reconsider the emotional atmosphere in the family. Frequent reproaches against the child, constant swearing from adults, watching obviously unchildish TV shows in the presence of the baby - all this can affect the immature psyche of the child and deprive him of a restful sleep.

Research in 2008 (Dr. Valerie Simard, Canada) confirms that children who sleep next to their mother until the age of 2 are much less likely to have nightmares in subsequent years than children who sleep separately.

The most common character in childhood nightmares is the Wolf, which may reflect the fear of an adult male who is too strict with him: dad, grandfather, older brother. In the same way, an overly strict and irritable woman (mother, teacher) comes to children's dreams in the form of Baba Yaga.

Praise your baby more often, increase the number of outdoor games by fresh air, protect him from scandals, inappropriate videos and talk about disasters and crime. Stay with him until he falls asleep, and then gradually replace yourself with your favorite toy. Ventilate the nursery and do not overfeed the baby at night. But if you see that the nightmares become permanent, eh emotional condition the baby is clearly not normal (aggressiveness, shyness, tearfulness, etc.), a specialist consultation is necessary.

Scary Tale (movie, cartoon)

Most children's fairy tales (both old classic and new ones) contain scenes of violence, intimidation, threats, terrible transformations of heroes), which can frighten a very impressionable child, and there is a fear of any character - he can imagine himself in the dark, come in a dream, etc. e. Correction of children's fears with the help of fairy tales - good method to combat fears, even caused by the fairy tales themselves. Together with your child, come up with your own story with the participation of a scary hero. This story should have a good start and good ending.

Fear of strangers

"I don't know who you are or what can be expected of you, so I'd rather be close to my mother." Fear of close contact with strangers or relatives with whom he rarely sees - absolutely normal reaction any child, the instinct of self-preservation. To reduce the excitement of the baby when communicating with strangers, ask adults not to contact too persistently (in other words, do not climb on the child), be patient. Tell them some of your baby's favorite games that will help them make contact.

Fear of separation from parents

"Why are you leaving me? What if you don't come back?" The fear of separation from parents is normal stage formation of the psyche of any child. If you have a need to regularly leave the child in the care of another person, then let him be well known to you and the baby (grandmother, aunt, older children, the nanny he is used to). Before leaving, play with your child, be sure to say goodbye to him (and not quietly sneak out), and try not to linger. Such daily ritual will make it clear to the baby that mom always comes back.

Fear of being alone

"I only feel safe when you are next to me in the room." When your toddler starts to play on his own, gradually teach him to be alone. First, move away from him to the other end of the room and watch him from there. Then gradually move to another room, but so as to be in the field of view of the child. Stay away for no more than 30 seconds, and then come back again. Gradually, it will be possible to accustom the baby to complete privacy in the room. But remember that leaving a child unattended can be dangerous for him.

Masks, costumes, puppets

"I'm afraid of masks because they look unnatural and I don't know what's behind them." Fancy dresses And puppets at the holiday they can bring joy to children, or they can scare them. The fact is that they, as a rule, look unnatural (not like real people and animals, they are too large or disproportionate), and this very often scares preschool children. At the holiday, do not get too close to the masked actors - let the kid first study the characters from afar, and then ask the actor to remove the mask and smile at the kid.

Fear of doctors

"I'm afraid of the doctor because he hurts me." Fear of medical procedures overtakes the child already in the corridor of the hospital while waiting (or even at home), and here it is important to properly prepare him. Talk in advance about the procedure, promise a small reward (sweets, a trip to the park, etc.), while waiting, distract him with songs and games to reduce stress. If possible, be present with the child during the procedure, and after it, be sure to praise him, tell him how brave and strong he is.

Fear of animals

"I'm afraid of strange animals because I don't know what to expect from them." Do not make fun of a child if he is afraid of cats, dogs or insects. Don't say, "Don't make it up, there's nothing to be afraid of." Instead, say, “I understand that the dog scares you. Let's walk past it together - I'll hold your hand." Introduce the baby to safe insects by holding them in your hands, without insisting that the baby pick them up himself.

Death

Sooner or later, the child begins to notice dead pigeons and insects on the street, pay attention to the concept of "death" in the conversations of adults. The fear of death is often found in preschool children (64% of girls, 36% of boys), because they begin to understand that someday (or even suddenly) his parents and himself will not be. He is afraid that one day he will close his eyes, "and that's it." Your task in such a situation is not to hide your eyes and not run away from the answer. And even more so, do not reproach for such thoughts. Just calmly explain to the baby that everyone dies, and that's okay. Let him know that this is natural and not scary.

Never laugh at your child's fears, belittle them, ignore them, and even more so, punish them for them. Only your understanding, respect, sensitive attitude and assistance will help the baby overcome his fears and come to peace of mind.

In addition to the above, the correction of fantasy fears in preschool children can be carried out by drawing and modeling from plasticine. Ask the child to draw his fear - it could be a monster from under the bed, images from a nightmare, etc. Think with your child about what this fear can be afraid of: for example, laughter. Then you need to laugh together at this fear, paint something funny on it, etc. Or you can burn a piece of paper with a picture and say goodbye to this fear forever. Remember that here you can not put pressure on the child and force him to draw. Otherwise, he will close in himself, and fear may intensify.

If the child is afraid of the doctor or animals (situational fears), then the game method is well suited here. Let the kid himself be in the role of a doctor - usually children like it. You may have to play the same situations over and over again, but with a gentle and unobtrusive approach, the fear will gradually go away.

If you see a child's fears hindering him Everyday life(flatly refuses to sleep, becomes aggressive or withdrawn, does not let his mother go a single step away from him), which means that a doctor's consultation is necessary. Remember that the fears of preschool children are easily corrected by specialists if they are contacted in time.

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