Personal development in early childhood. My reflections on the role of childhood in the formation of personality

Gulshat Gabdrakhimova
My reflections on the role of childhood in the formation of personality

Questions of upbringing have never been an empty phrase for me. I was born and raised in a family of teachers. And teachers were frequent guests. More than once I witnessed their heated pedagogical discussions, and they argued about what the youth should be like, how the younger generation should be educated, which is the main thing in education. And therefore, I am familiar with the problems of upbringing and education. childhood.

I am sure that the issues of educating the younger generation have always been, are and should be in the first place in society. After all, the future of the country depends on how the new generation grows up.

Unfortunately, today the prestige of such professions as a teacher, educator is low. This is very hard work which does not generate much income. But at the same time, the role of the educator, teacher, in formation the spiritual world of the child is huge.

And now, working as a kindergarten teacher, I understand that what our children will grow up to be the most urgent problem our time.

What "sprout" from childhood? Are children's years main school life? Yes, I'm sure it is childhood the most important moral qualities personalities. child with childhood should be brought up so that he grows up kind, honest, hardworking. It needs to be developed spiritual world to accustom the child to the active work of thought and conscience. It seems to me that these moral questions are very topical today. Why? Because rudeness and impudence have firmly entered our everyday life. Rudeness becomes the norm of behavior, and not out of the ordinary. What should be the real well-mannered person? What needs to be consciously cultivated in the family, kindergarten, school?

Of course, it is necessary to raise a child in respect for others, in love and kindness. But at the same time, I am sure, one should take into account the realities of the surrounding world. An ideal upbringing can make a child unfit for life. Everything should be in moderation! After all, ahead of the child is waiting for a real, harsh, real life. And so it with childhood it is necessary to accustom him to overcoming life's difficulties, to what life will require from him in the future, in which often manners and education are simply absent.

Now, working as an educator, I noticed that children in different environments - different: in the kindergarten, at school they are alone, at home they are completely different, and on the street they are already third. And parents sometimes do not notice this or do not want to notice.

Also, as an educator, I unfortunately notice that family values ​​are losing their necessity. Some parents see the task only in shodding, dressing, feeding their child. They don't think about questions. moral education your child. And it’s even scary to think about what the next generation will be like, if people are not educated today! How can they raise their children? After all, already in the smallest inhabitants of our earth is visible result: they With early years smoke, swear, drink alcohol, and helping others has become alien to them. Bad manners and rudeness are now the norm, everyday life. Can we fix them? Will we be able to command "Man is man's friend, comrade and brother" become an immutable moral law for our children?

As an educator, these questions concern me as well. I face these problems almost every day. And I want from the earliest childhood to educate children so that they can respond to someone else's misfortune and rush to help those who need it. I try to make the norm of behavior for my pupils not rudeness and rudeness, not arrogance and bad manners, but kind, honest, polite attitude to everything that surrounds them, so that they always remember the simple truths in dealing with people.

Psychologists say - all problems from childhood ...

Events that occur in childhood can have a huge impact on the child and his future destiny. They are involved in shaping the character of a growing person. Joyful impressions of childhood give strength and inspiration. The benevolent attitude of parents is remembered on the subconscious and helps to creative disclosure of personality. negative memories can develop insecurity and complexes, aggression and secrecy. The main thing is to know which events are the cause of failures in adult life. Psychologists have described 12 main factors of childhood that affect the rest of a person's life.

1. If the parents do not recognize in the child independent personality, do not take into account his desires and aspirations and make all the decisions themselves, this can lead to the fact that he will grow up helpless. Such children suffer from their own lack of will and are dependent on the opinions of others. It is important for parents to learn to trust the actions of their children. It is wrong to consider the baby helpless and in need of permanent councils.
2. If a boy is raised by a loving and caring father, with whom the son has a close emotional connection, then such a baby will grow up to be a real man, able to build healthy and fulfilling relationships with the opposite sex. Dads who have soul contact with their sons can teach warm feelings for a woman, sensitivity, compassion, attention and kindness. This can be the key to a happy family life boy in the future we read: allowance for the father in the upbringing of his son).
3. Constant parental supervision in childhood can lead to the fact that children grow up stubborn. For them, stubbornness is a defense mechanism with which they try to resist the decisions of their parents. Growing up, they do not lose this trait.
4. If a child watches TV too much, it can lead to suppression of his communication skills in the future. Psychologists recommend watching TV no more than two hours a day. The rest of the time it is desirable to spend on communication, reading, drawing or joint games.
5. If a child is allowed to watch programs in childhood that contain scenes of violence, then this can lead to the development of aggressive character traits and various mental disorders in the future, because. children involuntarily copy the behavior of the characters and remember this model as normal.
6. If children imitate their parents, copying their behavior and actions, they grow up open to communication. They have sociability and easily share their opinions with others without experiencing difficulties in dialogue.
7. If a child is often punished, he may grow up secretive. Such children, in order not to get caught, will try to outwit or hide the results of their bad behavior, which can lead to the development of such negative character traits as stubbornness and vindictiveness. We also read: whether or not to punish the child random misdeeds? -
8. If parents suffer from addictions to alcohol or use drugs, then their children are more likely to grow up serious and responsible. They are often deprived of childhood and become parents themselves for their unlucky father or mother.
9. Psychological trauma of childhood can lead to obesity in the future.
10. Child abuse can lead to depression and depression later in life. These conditions are observed in such children twice as often. We also read: Why you can not spank a child - 6 reasons
11. If a child grows up in poverty, then in the future he may have problems with short-term memory. This memory plays huge role in daily activities and in the formation of long-term memories, as it is associated with the ability to remember several events at the same time.
12. If parents separate when their children are 3-5 years old, then future life Such children are characterized by tense relationships with their parents, especially with their father.

Various events from distant childhood can influence the fate of a person, and parents should remember this from the first minutes of their child's life.

When a baby is just born, he is open to the world, ready to learn and seeks to interact with everything that is nearby. It is quite natural that any inadequate reaction of the external environment will have an impact on his emotional state and character. This is the reason why it is so important to give your child as much attention and care as possible, because in such young age he still does not realize anything, and his parents are for him a kind of guide through an incomprehensible world.

How childhood traumas are expressed in the behavior of an adult When a child doesn't get enough parental attention and love, it is not surprising that such a mature personality will have a large number of complexes born from a feeling of uselessness. The child, not understanding the complexities of adult relationships and the reason for the behavior of parents, will find it in himself.

Adults who grew up in such conditions are not able to love themselves, because they never received this love from their parents. The disharmony of the baby in relation to loved ones leads to the disharmony of the perception of the world in an adult.

In addition to internal aggression, childhood traumas can manifest themselves in external aggression, which is directed at people or even the whole world.

What can affect the child? Negative events

Rude adult attitude

hurtful words

Unexpressed/repressed emotions

Lack of attention and/or love

Everything that happens to people in childhood remains in the subconscious, is stored and has a direct impact on the emotional balance, perception of the world, and the character of a person. Therefore, everything that influences a child in childhood will unconsciously influence all his decisions throughout his life.

How to get rid of the impact of childhood trauma? It is best to turn to a psychologist, however, unfortunately, many people are afraid to seek help, considering it something shameful or shameful. Only those who are really ready to change, get rid of the burden of the past, face the truth and accept it seek help.

A good specialist without judgment will help you understand yourself, look at yourself or at a problem from the outside, help you make yourself and make important decisions.

You can try to cope with childhood traumas on your own, but this requires constant control of your thoughts and actions. If something in life goes not so and the efforts made do not give any results, which means that you need to change what is most familiar. We need to learn to accept the cruel truth, very often what we are used to, attached to in adulthood, is actually not what we need. Be sure to ask yourself: “Is this really what I need?”.

Children are not toys, and before having a child, you need to make sure that you have all the moral and material capabilities to raise him as a healthy, full-fledged person. And remember, you can never shift your unfulfilled dreams onto a child - this is a different person, with his own thoughts and interests, he needs the opportunity to live his full life.

Personal development begins at early childhood. It is at this time that the basic moral principles are laid down, the norms of communication and cultural characteristics are assimilated, which will guide an adult all his subsequent life. The way a person's character is formed in childhood is greatly influenced by his environment. Children form ideas about the ways of communicating with other people and their attitude to their own “I”, focusing on their loved ones and copying parental behaviors.

Where happy adults grow up

Happy adults grow up in happy families. Therefore, it is so important that the child feels the joy of childhood, receives enough love and attention from his relatives. The feeling of security, self-neediness, the constant care of father and mother affect the cognitive abilities of the baby, helping his personality to develop harmoniously. The problem of the role of childhood in a person's life and arguments in favor of the special influence of this period on success in adulthood can be found in the works of famous psychologists: Carl Gustav Jung, Sigmund Freud, Lev Vygotsky.

Emotional development in early childhood is reflected in the ability to cope with stress, negative influences in the future, helps to learn how to adequately assess different people and be able to communicate with them. Based on my own and parenting experience, the baby receives the concept of good and bad, forms an idea of family values. Growing up, happy children turn into successful and contented people who are able to take responsibility for their actions.

Problems of adults with difficult childhood

What happens to children who have had difficult childhoods? If the mother and father are not engaged in the upbringing and development of their child, do not pay due attention to each other and constantly quarrel, an adult who has grown up in such an environment develops distorted ideas about family values. They consider their behavior to be the only and natural norm. Due to the psychological phenomenon of “contagiousness of emotions”, if parents are torn between family and work, and at home they are in a constant depressed and gloomy mood, children “take over” their condition and begin to feel the same way.

Often, children who have experienced abuse from relatives, growing up, begin to “educate” their own children in the same way, not knowing a different attitude. Some psychologists believe that this behavior is caused by an unconscious desire to put oneself in the place of the aggressor, so as not to be a defenseless victim anymore.

How childhood difficulties affect character

People whose childhood was not happy often have many psychological problems that prevent them from living. full life. These problems make them perform inappropriate actions that are harmful to themselves and to others. If the parents did not take care of the child and did not instill moral guidelines, the adult will not have a clear system of values. He will not feel remorse when doing a "bad deed" and will not receive satisfaction from a good deed.

Of course, a “hard childhood” is not a sentence. Not necessarily a child, deprived of the love and attention of parents, grows up a criminal. But it is much more difficult for such people to understand their desires and motives, they often underestimate themselves and constantly feel unhappy, unworthy of a good relationship.

A book to help a child during a difficult period

Disbelief in one's own attractiveness forms such unpleasant character traits as deceit, greed, hypocrisy. Children who grew up without any care at all or with only one parent may envy the "happy children" from complete families. They do not know how to communicate and hardly make friends.

On the other hand, the ability to overcome difficulties can have a positive impact on the future life of the child. Those who are used to coping with difficulties, defending their point of view and learning to build relationships on their own often become successful in adulthood. Literary works can help children overcome difficult periods, understand complex moral issues and the actions of other people.

Discussion of the role of childhood in literature lessons

The behavior of book characters, the experiences associated with them, make it possible to feel in the place of another, to understand the motives for the actions of different people. Trying on all sorts of roles, the baby gets acquainted with a variety of moral systems, forms his own values ​​and personality. By pronouncing the experiences and feelings associated with a particular character, the parent contributes to the emotional development of his child, teaching him to be kind, caring, attentive to the needs of other people.

To discuss the problem of the role of childhood in a person's life, arguments in favor of the influence of early years on the formation of personality, children can at school in literature lessons. This question is raised in many classical works. The topic for the essay "The role of childhood in a person's life" is found at the exam. To get a high mark, students need to formulate their own point of view on the problem and justify it using their knowledge, personal experience and arguments from several literary works.

The role of childhood in the novel by A. S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin"

To reveal the theme of education as a way of forming a personality, one should pay attention to the novel by A. S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin". The main character is a nobleman, he has been surrounded by the culture and life of the capital since childhood. Onegin's personality is extraordinary, therefore he does not feel satisfaction from secular life, although he was brought up among the noble intelligentsia. This contradictory state is manifested in the episode of the duel with Lensky, which leads the main character to the loss of the meaning of life.

Tatyana Larina, the heroine of the novel by A. S. Pushkin, received a completely different upbringing. Her personality was influenced by Russian culture and Western novels. folk traditions she absorbed through the environment, thanks to fairy tales and legends that the nanny told little Tanya. The childhood of the heroine passed among the beauties of Russian nature and folk rituals. The influence of the West reflects Pushkin's ideal of education: connecting European education With national traditions Russia. That is why Tatyana stands out for her strong moral principles and strong character, which distinguishes her from the rest of the heroes of the novel "Eugene Onegin".

The question of the influence of education on character in the novel by L. N. Tolstoy "War and Peace"

Schoolchildren can be recommended to take one of the works of L. N. Tolstoy as an example for writing. In the novel War and Peace, Pyotr Rostov, who inherited kindness and openness from his parents, shows best qualities in his first and only battle, right before his death. Other heroes of the epic, Helen and Anatole Kuragin, who did not know the love of their parents and were brought up in a family where money was valued above all else, grow up as selfish and immoral people.

Goncharov: the problem of the role of childhood in human life, arguments. "Oblomov"

Writer I. A. Goncharov in the novel "Oblomov" focuses on the problem of the role of childhood in human life. The protagonist of the work, Ilya Oblomov, is completely unable to take care of himself, as he grew up in "greenhouse conditions". He does not complete any of his decisions and does not even try to start doing something, but only mentally imagines how good it will be in the end. His friend, the energetic and active Stolz, was taught by his parents to be independent from childhood. This hero is disciplined, hardworking and knows what he wants.

Impressions of childhood in the work of V. Soloukhin "The Third Hunt"

At a literature lesson, the teacher may offer to analyze an excerpt from the collection of the Soviet writer V. Soloukhin "The Third Hunt" to help students understand the problem of the role of childhood in human life. Arguments based on Soloukhin's text concern not only the formation of personality, but also the influence of childhood impressions on the fate of an adult, his connection with the Motherland. He colorfully illustrates his idea with detailed metaphors related to nature, and sketches from the life of Russian poets. The author argues that the foundation of personality is laid in childhood, and the memories and impressions of youth are always reflected in the future.

Education of the nobility in the "Undergrowth" by D. I. Fonvizin

The famous comedy by D. I. Fonvizin “Undergrowth” is also devoted to the problem of the role of childhood in human life. The author's arguments and reflections show what strong influence influences the child's personality on his family. The main character - Mitrofanushka, whose name has become a household name, adopts greed, cruelty and other vices of his mother. He received slavish inclinations from a serf nanny and the qualities of a tyrant from his own parents, which is reflected in his behavior and treatment of people. The image of Mitrofan indicates the decline of the noble society, caused by improper upbringing.

The Problem of the Role of Childhood in Human Life: Arguments from the Literature of Foreign Writers

The works of Charles Dickens, where the main characters are often people with difficult childhoods, are great for illustrating the problem of influence. young years for the formation of personality. In the novel "David Copperfield", largely autobiographical, the writer portrays a man who remained good, despite the constant humiliation, difficulties and injustice of life. Little David always comes to the rescue ordinary people which allows him to maintain faith in their sincerity. The boy himself learns to distinguish good from evil, to adequately evaluate himself. He has the ability to see the positive traits in every person.

Margaret Drabble's novel "One summer season”shows that childhood is not just a period limited by a certain age, it is also associated with psychological maturity. An adult is responsible for his decisions and actions, he understands the importance of mutual assistance and has worldly wisdom.

The role of childhood: arguments from journalism

In journalism, the problem of the role of childhood in a person's life is also often considered. Arguments for an essay on this topic can be taken from the article by A. Zamostyanov "Childhood and youth in the fate of Suvorov." In his work, the author says that the commander's personality was strongly influenced by his mother's stories about the famous military leaders of the past: Alexander the Great and Alexander Nevsky. The parent accompanied her story with the comment that the strength of a person is in the head, and not in the hands. It was after such stories that this sickly boy began to develop and temper himself, because he wanted to become a military man.

The period of childhood is very important for the full and harmonious development of the individual. It is the basis for an adequate perception of oneself and one's strengths, the world around and further happy life person.

I. Shevelev raises in his statement an actual social problem: the formation of the personality and the socialization of the individual. The author says that moral principles are laid down in childhood, and character is formed as a person grows up. I fully agree with the statement of I. Shevelev. Moral principles are accepted by society ideas about good and evil, right and wrong, as well as a set of norms of behavior - all this is laid down in a person as a child. The character is formed during socialization, which is the process of mastering patterns of behavior, social norms and values, knowledge, skills that help him to function throughout his life. The agents of socialization are the family, educational institution, army, church, etc. Passing through this and much more, a person masters and cognizes the world, as a result of which his character is formed and hardened.

In the work of Ivan Goncharov "Oblomov" main character grew up with such negative traits as laziness, lack of will, selfishness. Even as a child, his parents instilled in him such moral standards, as a result of which Oblomov, becoming an adult, was simply not needed for society. After all, everyone knows that people are drawn to a high personality, with a strong and strong-willed character, but for this you need to constantly work on yourself. Oblomov, because of his laziness, having received only basic moral principles, did not continue his development and therefore became a weak, spineless person. Paying attention to our public life, you notice that there are a lot of people with a strong, strong-willed character. Perhaps in modern world too many difficult tests that help build character. For example, as a child, my girlfriend was sent by her parents to Orphanage, she felt the pain of betrayal by loved ones. But she remained a kind and sympathetic person, did not get angry at the whole world - all this because of right upbringing and learning moral standards. Now she is successfully studying, traveling, exploring the world and meeting new people who share their experience with her, which helps her to form her strong-willed character. Thus, with age, a person accumulates more and more knowledge, gains experience, acquires certain skills. And this means that the character is formed on the basis of moral and moral principles already laid down in childhood.

Effective preparation for the exam (all subjects) -

Personality begins to form in childhood. And there are a lot of concepts of personality in psychology. Personality is a social concept, it expresses everything that is supranatural, historical in a person. Personality is not innate, but arises as a result of cultural and social development. L.S. himself Vygotsky formulated the concept of "personality" as the principle of the unity of affect and intellect. The holistic structure of the personality is determined by the direction and activity, characterizing the structure of the motivational sphere of a person. The development of a child's personality includes two aspects. One of them is that the child gradually begins to understand his place in the world around him. The other side is the development of feelings and will. They provide subordination of motives, stability of behavior.

Preschool childhood is characterized by a generally calm emotionality, the absence of strong affective outbursts and conflicts on minor occasions. But this does not at all lead to a decrease in the saturation of the emotional life of the child. The day of a preschooler is so filled with emotions that by the evening he can, tired, reach complete exhaustion. During this period, the structure of the emotional processes themselves also changes. In early childhood, vegetative and motor reactions were included in their composition (when experiencing resentment, the child cried, threw himself on the sofa, covering his face with his hands, or moved chaotically, shouting out incoherent words, his breathing was uneven, his pulse was frequent; in anger he blushed, shouted, clenched his fists, could break a thing that turned up under his arm, hit, etc.). These reactions are preserved in preschool children, although the outward expression of emotion becomes more restrained in some children. The child begins to rejoice and grieve not only about what he is doing at the moment, but also about what he has yet to do. Everything that a preschooler engages in - playing, drawing, modeling, designing, preparing for school, helping his mother with household chores, etc. - must have a bright emotional coloring, otherwise the activity will not take place or will quickly collapse. A child, due to his age, is simply not able to do what he is not interested in. Motivational sphere. The subordination of motives is considered the most important personal mechanism that is formed in this period. It appears at the beginning preschool age and then progressively developed. If several desires arose simultaneously, the child found himself in a situation of choice that was almost insoluble for him. The motives of a preschooler acquire different strength and significance. Already at a younger preschool age, a child can relatively easily make a decision in a situation of choice. Soon he may already suppress his immediate urges, for example, not responding to an attractive object. This becomes possible due to stronger motives that act as "limiters". Interestingly, the most powerful motive for a preschooler is encouragement, receiving a reward. Weaker is the punishment, even weaker is the child's own promise. Demanding promises from children is not only useless, but also harmful, since they are not kept, and a series of unfulfilled assurances and vows reinforces such personality traits as optionality and carelessness. The weakest is the direct prohibition of some actions of the child, not reinforced by other, additional motives, although adults often place great hopes on the prohibition. The preschooler begins to learn the ethical norms accepted in society. He learns to evaluate actions from the point of view of moral norms, to subordinate his behavior to these norms, he has ethical experiences. Initially, the child evaluates only other people's actions - other children or literary heroes, not being able to evaluate their own. In the middle preschool age, the child evaluates the actions of the hero, regardless of how he relates to him, and can justify his assessment based on the relationship between the characters in the fairy tale. In the second half of preschool childhood, the child acquires the ability to evaluate his own behavior, tries to act in accordance with the moral standards that he learns.

Self-consciousness is formed by the end of preschool age due to intensive intellectual and personal development, it is generally considered the central neoplasm of preschool childhood. Self-esteem appears in the second half of the period on the basis of the initial purely emotional self-esteem ("I am good") and a rational assessment of someone else's behavior. The child first acquires the ability to evaluate the actions of other children, and then - his own actions, moral qualities and skills. By the age of 7, the majority of self-assessment of skills becomes more adequate. Another line of development of self-consciousness is awareness of one's experiences. At the end of preschool age, he orients himself in his emotional states and can express them in words: "I am glad," "I am sad," "I am angry." This period is characterized gender identity, the child is aware of himself as a boy or a girl. Children acquire ideas about appropriate styles of behavior. Most boys try to be strong, brave, courageous, not to cry from pain or resentment; many girls are neat, businesslike in everyday life and soft or coquettishly capricious in communication. Self-awareness begins in time. At 6-7 years old, a child remembers himself in the past, is aware of the present and imagines himself in the future: "when I was small", "when I grow up big." We judge the development of the child's personality by changes in the entire structure mental activity, by changing the leading activity, by changing the activity and the appearance of the main neoplasms of the personality. The development of the child and his personality, according to L.S. Vygotsky, follows the line of awareness and arbitrariness in the process of the child's interaction with adults and peers. Thus, personality was understood by L.S. Vygotsky as awareness of oneself and the relationship to oneself as a physical, spiritual and social being.

Development and formation of the child's personality

Unfortunately, few parents know how the child's personality is formed, and what exactly is the significance of this stage. But in vain - this stage can be considered a kind of starting point, which, ideally, should be associated with a change in many aspects in the relationship between parents and the baby. A child who feels like a person requires a different educational approach, he builds communication with the people around him in a different way. Many people confuse the concept of “personality” and “individuality”. “My child is already a full-fledged personality, he has his own preferences, he hates to listen to pop music, and he loves the classics,” says the mother of a four-month-old toddler with pride. Meanwhile, the psychologist would have corrected her: love for certain music baby speaks of the features not of his personality, but of his individuality. As well as character traits, communication skills, etc. Individual characteristics of a person, such as temperament, giftedness, features of perception and processing of information (attention, memory), largely influence the formation of personality, but they do not completely determine its structure. When can we say that the child is aware of himself as a person? Psychologists identify several important criteria: the baby fully uses personal pronouns; he is able, even at the simplest level, to describe himself (appearance, character), talk about his emotions, motives and problems; he has self-control skills; thus, children's tantrums over the most insignificant of reasons, such as your refusal to buy a toy or continue a walk in the park, indicate a lack of personality development; he has basic ideas about what is "good" and "bad" and is able to abandon the "bad" in the name of "good" and give up his momentary desires in the name of the common good. By what age does a child have a more or less formed personality? Based on the criteria listed above, it becomes obvious: not earlier than by the age of two (as a rule, after you teach the child to speak and he will be able not only to share his thoughts with others, but also to reflect on his actions). Usually psychologists point to the age of three years as some significant point associated with the emergence of self-awareness in a child. At the same time, by the age of 4-5, he is fully aware of himself as a person with certain characteristics and “embedded” in the system of relations with the outside world.

Why is it important for parents to have an idea about the process of formation of the child's personality, and how is this process related to the choice of effective educational approaches? The extent to which the baby realizes himself as a person with certain qualities and is capable of self-control depends on the scale of the requirements that should be presented to him. In order to properly educate a child, it is necessary to have an idea about the features of his psychology on different stages development. Here, for example, is a typical situation: a six-month-old baby screams in a stroller, and his mother tries to exhort him: “Shut up immediately, shame on you!” Meanwhile, such suggestions will not lead to anything: naturally, at this age, the little one has no idea what “shameful” is. Moreover, he is not able to control his behavior - he is concentrated only on his momentary desires and demands their immediate fulfillment. And at this stage, it is important for the mother to understand that this does not mean that the child is spoiled or spoiled; this is a completely normal behavior of a six-month-old baby that does not require any punishment or any psychological and pedagogical correction. Now let's take another case: the child is one year and three months old. According to his parents, he is already old enough, because he walks, speaks separate words, periodically uses the potty. In principle, he is already able to control his emotions: sometimes he stops screaming after his mother's harsh rebuke, he is able to be affectionate when he wants to achieve parental attention. But for some reason, he uses self-control skills selectively: not in those cases when parents or the situation require it, but when it seems necessary to the child himself. And here on family council again the question is raised about the spoiled child. Meanwhile, such behavior at this age, again, is natural: having the initial skills of self-control, the child still does not have sufficient motivation to limit himself in some way with their help. He does not know what is good and what is bad, while he still thinks in terms of “I want”, “I do not want”, “I like”, etc. Some moral maturity will manifest itself in it only after two years (and for some children even closer to three years), and will be associated with the active development of social experience, mastery of speech and familiarization of the child with culture, important components of which are moral and ethical values.

Thus, according to modern ideas about the formation of a child's personality, the upbringing of a baby up to a year should be built solely on creating for him optimal conditions for the physical, intellectual and emotional development: restrictions and attempts at moralizing at this age will be ineffective. After a year of the little one, it is already possible and necessary to begin to introduce certain social and ethical standards, but it is useless to demand their immediate observance. Relatively speaking, if the kid pulls the cat by the tail, then you need to explain that he is wrong, but you should not expect that next time he will change his behavior: it will be easier to isolate the animal from the bully for a while. After two years, one can appeal to moral standards more insistently, and after three years, parents already have the right to demand their observance. If a child aged 3.5 - 4 years old systematically offends kids or beats toys in a store, this indicates either his psychological problems or gaps in education.

The formation of a child's self-esteem, his value system - that is, important components of the personality - largely depends on the parents. Here are a few rules that child psychologists recommend that moms and dads follow so that over time the child does not encounter problems related to his perception of himself or the attitude of others around him. 1) Shape adequate self-esteem. Never compare a toddler with other children - neither for the worse, nor for better side. This is especially true of the comparison of personal qualities. If you really want to calm down the raging child, tell him: “look at Vasya, how he behaves calmly”! At the same time, the option “look at Vasya, what he is good boy, And you disobedient child” is not allowed. The kid must understand that he is valuable in himself, and not in comparison with other children. If you want to praise a toddler, characterize him as “smart”, “kind”, “beautiful”, etc. without using degrees of comparison. 2) Encourage communication. Provide your child with maximum opportunities to communicate with other children and adults: this is how he socializes faster, on own experience learn the rules of behavior in society. 3) Do not ignore the gender aspect of parenting. From about 2.5 to 6 years old, the child experiences the so-called oedipal phase, during which he should form the correct sexual self-identification and the first ideas about the relationship of the sexes. At this stage, be extremely attentive to your child, give him your love, but do not succumb to provocations, demonstrate to him by your own example how harmonious relationship spouses. In this case, the child will come out of a difficult phase with a clear motivation to build the “right” love with a representative of the opposite sex. Incorrect behavior of parents can lead to the formation of the notorious Oedipus / Electra complex in the child or to other violations. 4) Teach him ethics and morality. Explain in detail to him what ethical principles underlie the interaction of people - what is “honest”, “fair”, “good”, “bad”. Some parents believe that it is not necessary to “powder brains” with such explanations for the baby - “he will grow up and get smarter”. Meanwhile, the inability of a child to measure his behavior with social norms can lead to numerous conflicts and further problems in communication.

Education of the child's personality

The upbringing of a child's personality is very complex and laborious process. In this article we will talk about education in general and consider in more detail the issue of educating the personality of a child. What is child development? As it turned out, each of us has our own basic concept, which we put into the word "education of personality." For some, this is just discipline and obedience, for others, education is equal to punishment, for some it is the active development of the child's abilities. When you praise a child - is it personality education? And when you argue with your husband in front of your baby? This is also the upbringing of the personality of the child, but not the spouse, but the child. The whole problem lies in the fact that we too often do not attach importance to the fact that the upbringing of a personality simply cannot be today, tomorrow, now or in time, since upbringing takes place constantly and continuously, all the time. In this regard, we should think about how we behave when we are close to our child, what values ​​we instill. And if very often you are simply not at home, then think carefully about who and how brings up the baby and to whom you trust him.

Everything comes from the family, and this is true. School, society, friends, of course, leave their mark, but the basis, the model of behavior, the manner of communication, everything is taken from the family. What a child sees and hears in childhood will be the norm and standard of behavior for him. Since the rules of behavior in society are not yet known to him, his standard is the parents and other family members, in fact, it is their model of behavior that he copies, which is reminiscent of the upbringing of the child's personality. IN younger age you can often notice how, for example, a daughter begins to address one of the family members with the same words and with the same intonation as her mother, and the son completely copies the father’s behavior style. This is how the personality of the child is developed. The older the baby becomes, the more he has similar traits of character and behavior to his parents.

The upbringing of a child's personality is a process of purposeful formation of a full-fledged personality in order to prepare it for participation in social, industrial, and cultural life. The main goal of education is to give a start in life. For this reason, one should not create excessive mild conditions and provide turnkey solutions, often give your child a "fishing rod, not a fish" and you should not be afraid to become a "bad" parent at the same time. The goal is to bring up a full-fledged self-sufficient and self-confident personality, and without independent decisions this is simply impossible. Let's look at the nuances of raising a child's personality, which should be given special attention.

Until the age of three, you should never ignore a child! Because by doing this you cause irreparable damage to the psyche. Respond to his tears, appeals, questions and any appeals. If the baby is crying, be sure to take pity, calm down, hug as much as he needs. At this age, mother and child are one, as evidenced by the upbringing of the child's personality. Preferably in given period as rarely as possible, and it is desirable not to leave the child with others at all, only the mother, but to give it to kindergarten all the more it shouldn't.

Do not limit cognitive activity. Use the word "no" only in the most extreme cases- iron, stove, sockets. And be sure to explain why. A permanent ban on everything excessively limits the activity of the baby, which leads to a slowdown in development, and besides, there is a high risk of developing a neurosis. Just examine your home from a baby's point of view and keep away anything that could be dangerous. It is advisable to insert specialized plugs into electrical outlets. Kettle, pots with hot food must be placed as far as possible from the edge of the table and stove. Continuous supervision is important, never leave the child alone with himself! Just switch your attention from dangerous activities to something more exciting.

Two - three years - this is exactly the time when the forecast for success or failure is formed by default. At this stage, the correct and versatile education of the individual is very important. In this age period When the baby is just starting to face the very first difficulties, it is very important to focus the baby's attention on overcoming difficulties and rejoice at his victories together. At the same time, never focus on failures. With the installation of success or failure formed at this age, he will live his whole life.

From the age of about three years, the child begins to slowly cheat and may begin to manipulate you for his own purposes. From this age, indulgence should be stopped and a smooth transition to an explanatory-contractual system should be made.

At five or seven summer age, and in some cases even earlier, the child has the first childhood fears. At this age, the formation creative thinking and as a result - there are various "monsters" in the corners.