The husband's son from his first marriage is a spoiled bastard who is trying to reap the benefits of his parents' divorce. my husband tried to reduce our communication with him as much as possible. who knows the recipe for how to deal with these kinds of feelings? I hate my husband's son from his first marriage

Not all men manage to save their first marriage. Some families fall apart when relationships reach a dead end. various reasons. Children suffer the most - they are forced to be “between two fires.” If a man decides to remarry, it is also not easy for his second wife - she has to communicate with her husband’s children from his first marriage. Unfortunately, not all girls manage to find them mutual language. How to learn to get along with children from your spouse’s first marriage? How to accept them? How not to allow negative emotions destroy your own family?

Communication between a husband and children from his first wife - what could it be like?

When a man turns on new family, conflicts often arise between the parties. Children suffer the most in this situation, and it doesn’t matter who they are left with—mom or dad. Her husband's new companion is unlikely to be able to immediately fall in love with other people's children, which is why it is doubly difficult for them. What situations might the second spouse encounter?

The children from the first wife live with their mother, and their father continues to maintain relations with them - he comes to visit them, takes them home during the holidays, and gives gifts. The new wife has to endure frequent visits from the children and be nice to them, although in her heart this situation irritates her;
Dad does not communicate with the children from the first family, does not participate in their upbringing, and ex-wife harasses them with calls, demanding participation in their lives. This infuriates both the man and his new wife;
If the child has already matured, he himself visits his father in his house, sometimes staying overnight. The new wife does not like this, but she cannot influence the circumstances;
The children remained in the care of the husband and live with him (at their own request or by court decision). Then the new companion will have to take over their upbringing.

The current wife needs to make every effort to preserve the father’s relationship with his children. To promote this, you need to avoid wrong behavior. Which one?

You can't prevent them from seeing each other;
Don't get annoyed when children come to visit dad;
Do not make scenes, accompanying them with the words: “Whose children are more important to you?”;
Do not be jealous of your husband’s ex-wife, do not take out anger and irritation on his children;
Do not commit rash actions that would lead to a break in the relationship.

How should a new spouse act to maintain peace and love?

When your husband’s child comes to visit, try to help your spouse receive him well;
Remind when the child has a holiday or any significant event;
Try to create a pleasant atmosphere at home so that father and children can communicate comfortably. Positive emotions will help children cope more easily with their parents’ divorce;
If the child lives with his father, the new wife should accept him as her own. It is important to learn to calmly respond to visits and calls from your ex-wife, because she is a mother, her participation in the lives of her children is necessary;
You cannot accept the fact that a child from your husband’s first marriage is part of his life. There are only two options - to accept a spouse with his children or to look for a man who is not burdened by past relationships;
Treat his and your children with equal love and care, equally share gifts, food and clothing, create the same restrictions for everyone.

How to stop feeling jealousy and hatred towards your husband's children?

Why can the second wife have feelings towards her husband’s children? negative feelings– anger, hatred and jealousy? There are several reasons for this:

The woman does not have her own child.
She doesn't like children at all.
The new wife is jealous of her ex.
A woman does not want to share her husband with anyone.
Greed – you have to spend a lot of money to support a child.
Resentment - the girl believes that her husband is more concerned about the well-being of his children than her own.

How to deal with these emotions?

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It is important to realize that a man will not be able to erase children from his first wife from his life; he will maintain contact with them - see each other, call, buy gifts. There are situations when fathers stop all relations with their previous family, but this happens rarely.
Never ask your husband to choose between you and his child; more often than not, the choice will not be made in your favor.
Try to find an approach to his children, try to become their friend. Your spouse will certainly appreciate this; he will be happy knowing that you love his children as if they were your own.
If you have negative feelings towards his ex-wife, do not take them out on your children.

How to build friendly relationships with children from your husband’s first marriage?

The main thing is to put yourself in the child’s place - imagine what it’s like for him new family? It doesn’t matter whether he lives here permanently or comes to visit his dad. It reminds little kitten lost in an unfamiliar place. If scandals and scenes often arise in your home, dissatisfaction is expressed about former family, then the children seem to find themselves “out of place.” But it's yours the main task– gain their authority to create trusting relationship. How to do it?

If your child is open to communicating with you and makes contact easily, do not push him away. He shouldn't think that he is interfering with your relationship with his dad;
Children have the right to be jealous of their father towards you, because you came into his life later. Show in action that you will not fill everything with yourself. free time spouse. Help your spouse organize outings with your son or daughter, and gradually join the company yourself. Pleasant moments experienced together bring people closer together;
When playing the role of a good stepmother, do not overdo it. There is no need to cooze with your child, put on a smile, shower him with gifts and convince him that you are delighted with him. Children always feel false. It is clear that it is almost impossible to immediately fall in love with someone else’s child, but you should also not play to the public. Proceed carefully and gradually. Step, two, three. Over time you will get used to each other;
Do not put the interests of your children above the interests of your spouse's child. Treat everyone equally, even though it is not easy;
Accept that your husband continues to communicate with you ex-wife, - this is necessary and inevitable. Pacify your jealousy, it is meaningless, because the man has already made a choice in your favor. If you yourself do not destroy the relationship with stupid actions, your husband will love you.

What should a father do to maintain a relationship with his children from his first wife?

Men with high self-esteem may not feel uncomfortable knowing that two women are competing over him. If this situation did not affect children, it could be ignored. Therefore, a man who has married again and now has children in both his first and second families needs to behave correctly. What should he remember and what should he do?

Respect your new spouse's feelings. Communicate with your ex in such a way as not to give your new spouse any reason for outbursts of jealousy;
Become good father for children from both the first and second marriage, provide them with equal support, devote time to each of them;
If you are offended by your first wife, this is not a reason to leave your children, because they love you as before;
No matter what “infection” your ex is, be above this situation: never say anything bad about her - neither to your children in common with her, nor to your new wife;
When a new companion tries to make friends with your children and find a common language, provide her with support. It is really difficult for her to restrain her resentment and pacify her jealousy;
Create such a transparent relationship with your ex-wife that your current wife can be completely confident in you. This way you will avoid misunderstandings and quarrels on the topic: “Did you go to your ex again?”, then you will no longer have to explain that the mother of your children asked you to help her with her child.

Even though the children are not your family, but your husband’s, you have the power to make them happy. Try to build good and strong relationships with them, then real peace and harmony will reign in your family.

I am jealous of my husband for his child from his first marriage...

I feel a terrible feeling of jealousy towards my husband’s child from his first marriage. I don’t say anything to my husband, but there is a flame of jealousy inside me. And I myself cannot understand why. The child is already big, 10 years old. But my husband spends his time and attention on him. And it hurts me. I read an article about how it is good that a man communicates with a child from his first marriage, but this does not reassure me at all...

How not to be jealous of your husband's child from his previous wife

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A woman, after getting married, always wants to feel like she is in charge of the situation. It is better when a young couple lives separately from their parents - this reduces the likelihood of conflicts. But what to do if your spouse already has a child from his first marriage? How to build a relationship with him without finding yourself in the background and without forgetting about yourself? Rarely, but still, a situation occurs when a man is forced to raise the son or daughter of his ex-wife. IN in this case conflicts often arise, and even the most better relationship may deteriorate over time.

The second wife is required to show maximum delicacy and at the same time be quite objective. It is not always possible to recognize in time difficult situation, women tend to suppress negative feelings within themselves and not say them out loud. However, hushing up the problem only leads to its aggravation, not its solution. In fact, she has a difficult task on her shoulders: to force herself to love a child who is only annoying, and to be able to cope with her feelings. It’s rare that anyone actually admits to their husband that they cannot accept someone else’s child. How to behave correctly in this situation, how to treat the baby?

Origins of the problem

Where does this oppressive feeling of one’s own uselessness and hopelessness come from? Why does an adult suddenly feel a sense of loneliness and uselessness? Women often experience jealousy towards their partner's children. They themselves are embarrassed by such a state of internal emptiness and anger, therefore they cannot tell others about it, fearing condemnation, and even more so to a loved one. It seems to such women that by confessing, they will immediately admit to their own stupidity and weakness. Like, they weren’t able to overcome their childhood grievances or somehow compensate for their dislike.

Indeed, there are reasons for suffocating jealousy towards children, which sometimes reaches the point of absurdity. Most often, they are hidden in our subconscious. Today, few people can boast that they had happy childhood in a complete family with father and mother. Women often have to raise children. And in a purely female environment, a girl cannot grow up with a feeling of complete well-being. In the future, such children will always look for confirmation from others that they can be sincerely loved not for some significant achievements, but just like that. If you are very annoyed by your husband's daughter or son from his first marriage, know that you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with this feeling, it is even natural, but you definitely need to work with it, otherwise you can lose your family and lose trust in the world.

What exactly does the woman feel?

A young wife, as a rule, experiences a strong feeling of jealousy. Although she realizes with her mind that the feeling is wrong and does not at all characterize her with the best side, but dealing with it is very difficult. Irritation can appear at the most inopportune moment and throw you out of your usual rut. Jealousy destroys the most beautiful, reverent feelings for her husband and subconsciously the wife begins to get angry at him too. Why is this happening? She may consider him indirectly to blame for what she experienced, for those uncontrollable emotions that destroy her from the inside and do not allow her to feel completely satisfied and happy.

The nature of a woman is such that she needs to feel like she is the only one for a man. She should know that her husband belongs entirely to her alone, and there is no one in the world more important to her husband. Often wives are jealous of those children of their husbands who are in some way similar to themselves. They are simply infuriated by the situation when they are forced to endure the presence of someone else’s son or daughter nearby and at the same time not be able to express their feelings. Shame, reproach, self-disappointment - the list goes on for a long time. It seems that they cannot be detected directly, because the husband will certainly be offended or consider his wife an immature person. But is this really so?

Acceptance of the situation

The worst thing a woman can do in this situation is to say to herself: “If I hate my husband’s child from his first marriage, then there is something wrong with me, I’m bad.” In fact, irritation arises due to the fact that she cannot control the situation, control herself at this moment. As a rule, these are strong and self-sufficient women who want to be first in everything. The emerging feeling of hatred towards the husband’s little daughter or son is alarming, causes fear and surprise. There is no need to blame yourself for the emotions you experience. It is important to know how to work with them correctly. Only in this case, over time, it will be possible to build honest harmonious relationships with your spouse’s children, treat them with warmth.

Acceptance of the situation begins with the removal of accusations against you. We must learn to understand that our feelings are not good or bad, they just show state of mind on this moment time. Feelings reflect emotional sphere a person to approximately the same extent as a speedometer showing the speed of a car. For example, if you're driving too fast, you wouldn't think of blaming the car, would you? An adequate person understands that the steering wheel is in his hands and it is he who controls the situation. You can’t bring back the past, you can’t get away from it or change the unsatisfactory components, you just need to let it go. You can’t constantly return to what happened to you when you were five to seven years old. Accepting the mistakes of the past means freeing yourself from them in the future.

Support for husband

Strange as it may sound, the husband finds himself in a much more unenviable position than his wife, coming from jealousy. A man has to be between two fires: he constantly rushes from one side to the other, trying to reconcile them. He doesn’t know how to behave correctly so that there are fewer quarrels and conflicts in the family. Seeing how furious his wife is about the current situation, he begins to fear for the future and does not know what to do. If there are more children in the family, a man often cannot evenly divide his love and care between them. It seems to him that he will definitely forget about someone or begin to treat them with less responsibility.

Actually for emotional well-being The woman answers the family. Only she can create an atmosphere of comfort in which a man will feel comfortable. If a wife considers herself wise enough, then she will, first of all, respect herself, and then the children of her loved one. And the people around her will admire precisely this feature. If a spouse has a daughter from his first marriage, then it is the wife who must make certain efforts to become friends with her and stop seeing her as a small child rival. How should a caring wife behave towards her husband?

Share everyday worries

It is known that to decide alone difficult questions issues related to education are very difficult, almost unbearable. If you are married to a man who has a child from a previous union, stop panicking. There is no need to consider yourself a victim of the situation. Think, maybe it’s much harder for your spouse? He must have time to bestow all his loved ones with his care and attention. So help him with this! Start showing interest in your husband’s child yourself, and this step will help you quickly accept the baby as your own. Perhaps in the future you will begin to love him no less than your own children. If the situation itself infuriates you, admit it to yourself and continue to act. Take a closer look at your child: perhaps he needs to buy something or help with treatment? Give the necessary items your time. Take him to a tutor, cure caries or go to nature - everything is within your power. Believe me, your spouse will definitely appreciate your efforts and will treat you with even more attention.

Enter into a confidential dialogue

Other people's children grow up very quickly. From the outside it seems that they have no problems. In fact, this is apparent carelessness. Surely they have a very hard time at some point in their childhood. Can you imagine how a child’s father’s remarriage might feel? For him, you are someone else's aunt, who arose in order to destroy the zone of security and comfort. You may notice that some children, finding themselves in such a situation, become confused and embarrassed, while others, on the contrary, show aggression. A sensitive, attentive attitude towards the child will help dispel all fears and doubts. This way you will feel better yourself, and it will be easy for your baby to communicate. Over time, it is possible that you will even be able to love this child, and he will no longer cause irritation.

How to improve relationships?

Children react very sensitively to changes happening around them. And if the situation gets worse, it will be much more difficult to correct it than to solve the problem at the first stage. There is no need to accumulate negative emotions within yourself. You can't fall in love at once, you need effective work above oneself. Try to do everything in your power to build normal, trusting communication. It doesn’t matter that your husband’s daughter from his first marriage runs away at the sight of an unfamiliar aunt. You are an adult, you should be wiser and act accordingly!

Spending time together

No matter how busy you are at work or with everyday chores around the house, if you want to make friends with your husband’s child, find free hours for a private conversation or active rest. Choose what is right for you: walking outside, doing gymnastics, reading books, or maybe watching cartoons together. Children love it when their hobbies and interests are shared by adults. Become for the child if not dear mother, then at least a caring friend who will always help at the right time. Believe me, your spouse will be grateful to you, because it is very nice when your child is taken care of and supported.

Joint activities bring people closer together and help them to reveal their personalities. The time will come, and your husband’s child will begin to share his problems with you. But this will only become possible when absolute trust is formed.

Share your emotions

The more bright impressions, smiles and joy you give to your child, the more positive impression he will have an opinion about you. Don't be afraid to give your emotions, don't be afraid to surprise pleasant surprises! A child always needs attention, and it is doubly pleasant to receive it from someone you don’t expect. It must be admitted that children are very wary of their parents’ significant other because they do not want to share their love with someone else.

To make it pleasant for your child to communicate with you, try to be as friendly as possible. Tune in to the wave of positive energy, and then in the future you will not have to regret any rash actions. There is no need to isolate yourself from your child, do not let him feel out of place. Believe me, he really worries no less than you.

Give gifts

Only generous people know how to truly share and give joy to others. Become a generous person who takes unimaginable pleasure in seeing a child's happy smile. Gifts are the shortest way to a baby’s heart. What child doesn't like to receive surprises? Just try not to make them look like you're trying to buy attention and goodwill. Don't expect anything in return! Give just like that, from the heart, from the bottom of your heart!

Gifts are very attractive, there is a feeling of unsurpassed generosity, it seems that you can make the whole world around happy. Find out from your spouse what his child dreams of, and feel free to start making your wish come true. little man. Let such an event come as a surprise to the baby, the main thing is that it makes him happy. Gifts, like nothing else, help to win over a child and establish an honest, trusting relationship with him.

Thus, the presence of jealousy towards the husband’s child should not become the reason for the formation of coldness and alienation. A woman in this situation should remember that she is an adult who has seen a lot in life. There is no need to continue hiding behind your childish complexes. Finally, take responsibility for family relationships. And then you will be able to see the husband of your friend, and not your enemy, in the child.

Entering remarriage, most men leave children in their first family, whom they continue to care for. Often, the husband's children from his first marriage remain to live in the second family for various reasons: the poor financial situation of the ex-wife, her departure from the country to foreign countries, or her own decision with the desire to gradually return the love of her husband and family.

To love or not to love, to be a new family or not to be?

Not every woman who has started a family with a divorced man wants or can raise her husband’s child. Sometimes a woman becomes jealous of her husband for his past, ex-wife and children, and sometimes she simply doesn’t have enough experience to raise adult daughter husband from his first marriage or several children.

Often there is confrontation and rivalry between two women (wives) in the desire to capture the heart of a man and solely possess it. In this " cold war" are used different methods to save happy family, but only children suffer. Children take all the negativity and disagreements between father and stepmother personally and are constantly in under stress.

In other cases, the second wife gets along with the children and takes good care of them, but is also stressed due to jealousy of the ex-wife and her children, fear of losing a loved one, and therefore makes irreparable mistakes that the man cannot accept or forgive.

When marrying a divorced man, a woman must understand and firmly accept her loved one with all his past, which has become an integral part of his life. There is no point in changing or forgetting your past, so to create strong family a woman needs to reconcile herself and accept her husband and children, or find another man for herself, without a “burden” on her shoulders.

If the husband’s daughter or son from his first marriage lives in a new family, it is important to understand that the ex-wife can participate in raising the child, visit him, call her ex-husband, which is necessary for the well-being and peace of mind of both the child and all the adults around him and educating. In turn, the stepmother should discuss with her husband the methods of raising and caring for his child. It is impossible to separate children together from stepdaughters or sons in terms of food, clothing, routine and regime in the family, attention and love. You cannot love a child more or less. They are either loved or not loved. If a woman cannot love her husband’s child from his first marriage, she should not start a family with such a man, since she herself will suffer first. Love and well-being in the family will be replaced by anger and irritation, which will lead to divorce.

What happens if…

If the child remained in the first family, then the woman will have to come to terms with the fact that the ex-wife will call her husband with messages about the child’s health, his successes or problems, or with a request to buy something for him, to take him to the cinema or the zoo. In this case, psychological well-being new wife fades into the background, since the ex-wife considers herself a victim, and not an aggressor - she will no longer have the opportunity to give birth and raise a child with ex-husband in a complete family. Therefore, you need to find strength and treat her regular visits in her husband’s life with understanding.

It will be better for everyone if the wife does not interfere with her husband’s communication with his child and wife from his first marriage. A woman who tries to maintain excellent family relationships will herself remind her husband that he has a growing child who needs his father’s attention. She herself will find opportunities and ways to create good relations with his children, will not transfer all the negativity associated with jealousy of his ex-wife onto her husband’s child.

An intelligent and far-sighted woman does not connect love for a child with the relationship between her and his father; she remembers that her husband chose her to love and create a family, and now he is next to her. She understands that a child is much weaker than an adult and has a harder time with her parents’ divorce, so she is not able to take away the love and attention of a man from her. If the presence of someone else’s child still weighs on a woman, she should leave her husband alone with the child as much as the situation requires.

A woman who constantly wants to have an extremely close relationship with her husband emotionally, most often jealousy arises about the past of her beloved, since she considers him “the very best” and the only one in the world and wants her husband to treat her the same way. She understands that her husband also had feelings for other women, which further aggravates jealousy and causes fear, because she was not and never will be in those emotional connections of her husband. She is afraid that he may return to his ex-wife, constantly compares himself with her, worries and jealousy, and dumps negativity on the child.

To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to rely on real events in which current relationships are very important. A woman needs to take into account that her husband chose and loves her for those qualities that are valuable and significant to him. She must thank her ex-wife in her heart for the child her husband is so happy about, who can just unite and strengthen their family.

If a wife does not trust her husband, if she feels unsure of herself and her strengths, friction arises in the relationship between her, her husband and his child. Confident woman will not suspect her husband of having an affair with his ex-wife. If, when she sees her reflection in the mirror, her own attractiveness does not please a woman, then in order to interest a man long years, you need to go to a spa or hairdresser, visit a stylist - take care of your appearance! Then confidence will return, suspicions of all the husband’s mortal sins will disappear, and relationships with his children will improve.

How to gain a child's authority

The child always feels the attitude towards himself from his parents, especially from his stepmother: love or attention or irritation and anger. They see all the actions of adults trying to quickly “get rid of” the child, then he considers himself an annoying obstacle in the relationship between father and stepmother. In other cases, the child sees all the efforts of the parents to create friendly relations in the family, so he gradually gains respect and love for his stepmother, because you can’t force anyone to love you overnight.

Sometimes a child is jealous of his father, since he previously owned him undividedly. Now he has to share his father's love with his new mother. In this situation, the woman needs to show her husband’s child that she does not claim all of his father’s free time, and more often organize joint walks or games for them. Nothing brings people together better than sharing positive emotions. Time will pass, and the child will no longer oppose himself to his stepmother.

If the husband is in no hurry to have children together, this also becomes a stumbling block between her and other people’s children. To dreams about own child come true, you need to take your husband’s child as an ally. If there is a trusting and good relationship between the stepmother and her husband’s child, she will be able to convince him of the need to have a brother or sister. Then the son or daughter themselves will ask the father that he and the stepmother give them a little and dear friend or girlfriend.

When a woman builds her relationship with her husband’s child, it is not recommended to show excessive lisp and exaggerate her delight in communicating with him, to give a large number of gifts. This is how a stepmother can raise consumer attitude to yourself. You need to show attention and take an interest in his affairs, give advice without imposing your opinion. You should always be interested in what the child himself wants and discuss this with your husband when the need arises. Love between a stepmother and a child will sooner or later arise along with a trusting relationship. With age, the child will understand that building such relationships is sometimes very difficult and difficult.

How does a child feel in a new family?

If you look at the situation of a father marrying a stranger through the eyes of a child whose life is radically changing without taking his wishes into account, then you can understand that the child is overcome by fear and despair. If a father leaves his mother, the son or daughter may blame themselves for this or consider themselves useless to anyone. If stranger woman comes to their house as his father's new wife, then the child will become jealous of her father and will be afraid of losing his love and attention. In addition, he will have to carry out assignments and take into account the opinion of his stepmother. Fear does not allow the child to control the situation, then his familiar world collapses or changes. Similar situations force the child to manipulate adults in order to achieve what he wants, even at the cost of a destroyed relationship between father and stepmother.

In such situations, when a child provokes aggression with his behavior, it is important for a woman to find a middle ground, that is, not to become a tyrant, but also not to follow his lead, not to stand on his head in order to appease him or cheer him up, not to praise the child and buy him “everything at once” that he wants. A child can distinguish hypocrisy from a sincere and kind attitude, and can appreciate human warmth.

Now we can summarize. What should a woman do to save her marriage with a divorced man with children? Recommended:

Accept your loved one with his children and relationship with ex-wives. Build her relationship taking into account her husband’s past, because she knew what she agreed to when starting a family.
Remember and not hope that your former rival will take her psychological well-being into account.
There is no need to feel a sense of aggression and guilt towards your husband’s ex-wife and make this feeling the cornerstone. You need to treat her and your husband’s child with respect and responsibility, which can create a trusting relationship in the family, which a joint child will help strengthen.
Do not interfere with the husband’s communication with his ex-wife and children for the purpose of raising and caring for the children. Show loyalty and do not forbid the husband to call and receive calls from the children and first wife, accept the child into the new family, communicate and go for walks with him.
Find a common language with your husband’s children, diversify communication with gifts and entertainment. If the first wife is against such communication, there is no need to insist and be offended, allowing the father to independently solve problems with the children.
Remember that a man can become a follower and lose his independence if, to please his wife, he stops caring for and communicating with the children from his first marriage. If family relationships will lead to divorce, then the man can do the same with his second wife.
Allow a man to firmly strengthen his paternal position in relation to his spouse and children from his first marriage, to build a “civilized” relationship with his first wife. Equal treatment should apply to both joint children and children from a first marriage.

Often a man feels like a “prize” in the struggle between past and present, in the struggle between two women. Some men like it, many find it annoying and make life uncomfortable.

When entering into marriage after a divorce, for its preservation and well-being in the family, a man is recommended to:

Do not forget that he remains the father of his children remaining in the first family.
Respect your ex-wife, despite the unsightly actions she committed during the first period of separation.
Maintain and develop communication between the new wife and children from her first marriage, without requiring her to Great love. If you make successful attempts to build a relationship between your wife and your son or daughter, give her compliments, give her flowers and surprises more often, possibly together with the children.
To eliminate jealousy on the part of your wife, you need to create “transparent” relationships with your previous family, convince your wife that she is main woman in his life. A confident woman is always loyal to the mother of his children and creates a calm environment in the house.
Do not separate children from a new and previous marriage, treat everyone equally, so as not to provoke children's jealousy, the consequences of which can be disastrous. We need to make all children feel needed and loved.

If the child feels the father's care and attention from his second wife, her good relations, his psyche and health will not suffer, which will have a positive effect on his behavior and a warm atmosphere in families.

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Husband's son from first marriage

My ex-husband died. Who are the heirs? From my first marriage I have a son and my daughter.

Hello, are you officially divorced? Was the property he has acquired during marriage or not?

We have a two-room apartment, 2/3 for my husband and 1/3 for his son from his first marriage. The son wants to sell his share to strangers. At the same time, our 4-year-old child together with my husband is registered in this apartment. Can he sell his share to anyone?

Your husband has the pre-emptive right to purchase the share; your son is obliged to offer him in writing to buy the share. If h/w 30 days. the husband refuses the buyout - the son has the right to sell the share to a third party.

If you refuse to buy out his share at market value, then yes... he can very well sell it to anyone.

My husband and I are in our second marriage. Was born common child. I also have a son from my first marriage; through the court, my husband recognized him as a family member and took him as his dependent. The husband and his ex-wife are military personnel. The husband filed documents with the court to reduce alimony. The court recognized the claim and satisfied it. But the ex-wife writes an appeal for the second time. And despite requests, he does not provide the court with certificates about his salary and his financial situation.

Maria, you don’t need arguments, but an objection to the appeal of your husband’s ex-wife. I would like to note on my own that the appellate authority will most likely reject her complaint. Since she was unable to prove (due to her stupidity) her income, without providing the trial court with information allowing her to find out her real income. This contradicts the norms of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation, namely Article 56 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation. Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation Article 56. Obligation of proof 1. Each party must prove the circumstances to which it refers as the basis for its claims and objections, unless otherwise provided by federal law. 2. The court determines what circumstances are important for the case, which party must prove them, and brings the circumstances up for discussion, even if the parties did not refer to any of them.

My husband and I have two children, his son from his first marriage lives with us and is registered (his mother died), and is listed as a family member in the family composition certificate. Is our family large? And can we stand up for improvement? living conditions, we live in an apartment with a total area of 25 sq. m? We have been living under a specialized rental agreement for 3.5 years.

Hello! Yes, your family is large. Your husband, the father of three children, should take the lead in improving your living conditions.

Can a husband return taxes for his wife if I pay for the education of my eldest son from my first marriage. The study agreement was signed before our marriage.

No. Because it's not his child.

Can my husband adopt my son from his first marriage if he is deprived parental rights in relation to a child from another marriage?

Hello! The fact of deprivation of his parental rights in relation to a child from another marriage does not prevent the adoption of your son.

I married an Israeli citizen, I have a son from my first marriage, my ex-husband does not give permission for my son to leave for Israel for permanent residence, what should I do in this situation.

Good afternoon. You need to resolve this issue in judicial procedure, establishing the order of communication between the father and the child, and also obtain judgment to take a child outside the Russian Federation.

Hello, Igor Anatolyevich, if the ex-husband did not ban the child from traveling abroad, then the child can travel abroad with one of the parents without the permission of the other parent. Good luck to you!

The husband has a son from his first marriage to whom he must pay alimony. Now his son is 17 years old. This April he will be 18. The boy is in his first year of college. I know that by law child support is paid until the age of 18, but the bailiff told my husband that he would pay child support for his son from his first marriage until he was 23 or as long as he was in college. Is this really true? And will the bailiff call my husband after his son turns 18?

With the current turnover, they hire just anyone as bailiffs, but those who remain work are even worse. From the age of 18, child support obligations cease, unless the child is recognized as incapacitated and disabled; Home Documents Article 120. Termination of alimony obligations "Family Code" Russian Federation" dated December 29, 1995 N 223-FZ (as amended on August 3, 2018) (as amended and added, entered into force on January 1, 2019) "". Termination of alimony obligations 1. Alimony obligations established by the agreement on the payment of alimony , are terminated by the death of one of the parties, the expiration of this agreement or on the grounds provided for by this agreement. "" 2. Payment of alimony collected in court is terminated: "" upon the child reaching the age of majority or in the event that minor children acquire full legal capacity before reaching they reach the age of majority; "" upon the adoption of a child for whose maintenance alimony was exacted; "" upon recognition by the court of the restoration of working capacity or the cessation of the need for help of the recipient of alimony; upon the entry of a disabled ex-spouse in need of help - the recipient of alimony into a new marriage; death of a person receiving alimony, or a person obligated to pay alimony.

Me and my son from my first marriage live with my common-law husband(he has a daughter, 18 years old, does not live with us) in a one-room apartment that belongs to his mother (my mother-in-law). We decided to expand our living space, buy a two-room apartment (having sold a one-room apartment) and I took out a loan (150,000). Upon registration new apartment it was decided that she would be registered as her mother-in-law. My question is: what should I do so that I also have a share in this apartment? If we legalize our relationship, what right will I have to this apartment?

Hello! Even if you legalize the relationship, you cannot apply for the apartment, since it belongs to a third party.

The son from his first marriage gave the apartment to his father, my husband. In the event of the death of the donee, my husband, do I, as a wife, have the right to part of this apartment?

Yes, this apartment is included in the inheritance mass, and in the event of the death of the testator, you, as the heir of the first priority by law (Article 1142 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation), have the right to inherit it in equal shares with other heirs of the first priority.

The husband pays child support for the child from his first marriage. My son is studying in college. He turns 18 in March. Will my husband pay child support after his birthday? Thank you.

Will not be. Child support is paid until the child reaches adulthood.

Hello. Unfortunately, you are not obligated unless you agree to pay voluntarily. . The right to alimony for disabled adult children 1. Parents are obliged to support their disabled adult children who need help. 2. In the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, the amount of alimony for disabled adult children is determined by the court on a firm basis. monetary amount, payable monthly, based on the financial and marital status and other noteworthy interests of the parties. PLENATURE OF THE SUPREME COURT OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION RESOLUTION of December 26, 2017 N 56 ON THE APPLICATION OF LEGISLATION BY COURTS WHEN CONSIDERING CASES RELATED TO THE COLLECTION OF ALIMONY 7. Under disabled adults entitled to alimony (Articles 85, 89 , 90, 93 - 97 RF IC ), should be understood as persons recognized in the prescribed manner as disabled people I, II or Group III, as well as persons who have reached the generally established retirement age.

Deed of gift.
Hello! If my husband writes a deed of gift for me... then his son from his first marriage will be able to count on a share of our apartment... if something happens to my husband, God forbid.

Hello! No, if property is removed from the ownership of a citizen before his death, it is not subject to inheritance.

The apartment given to you will not be part of the inherited property.

Hello Marina, if your husband writes a deed of gift for you, then his son will not have the right to this apartment.

I have a son from my first marriage, who has been raised and supported by my current husband for 2 years; my son considers him his dad! The ex-husband does not communicate with the child and does not pay child support. In this marriage, we also had twins and received the status of a large family. How can we register our son as our husband to be a full-fledged family without the participation of the first husband?

Hello, without his participation you will not be able to do this. He must sign the refusal himself, or you must file a lawsuit to deprive him of his parental rights, but this requires grounds.

Julia, hello. It won’t work without the participation of your ex-spouse. Permission for adoption is required from him.

Julia! In order for your husband to officially adopt your child from your first marriage, biological father must give consent to the adoption of his child. If there is no such consent, then it is necessary to initiate the procedure for deprivation of parental rights and then follow the adoption procedure, if there is a positive decision on deprivation of parental rights. All procedures, both adoption and deprivation of parental rights, are judicial.

Hello, Yulia, according to. Deprivation of parental rights Parents (one of them) may be deprived of parental rights if they: evade the duties of parents, including malicious evasion of child support; refuse, without good reason, to take their child from the maternity hospital (ward) or from another medical organization, educational organization, organizations social services or from similar organizations; (as amended by Federal Laws dated April 24, 2008 N 49-FZ, dated November 25, 2013 N 317-FZ, dated November 28, 2015 N 358-FZ, dated March 28, 2017 N 39-FZ) (see text in the previous edition) abuse their parental rights; children are cruelly treated, including physical or mental violence against them, and attacks on their sexual integrity; are patients with chronic alcoholism or drug addiction; committed an intentional crime against the life or health of their children, the other parent of the children, a spouse, including a non-parent of the children, or against the life or health of another family member. (edited) Federal Law dated 12/30/2015 N 457-FZ) Therefore, you can deprive through the court ex-husband paternity, and then adopt the child through the court. Good luck to you!

My husband pays 25% alimony for his son from his first marriage.
We have two children, I'm on maternity leave. The share for each family member is less than the share for the son from the first marriage.
I filed alimony against my husband and was awarded 33%.
Now my husband wants to apply to reduce the first from 1/4 to 1/6.
The son from the first marriage, even if the share is reduced to 1/6, will receive more than the minimum established by law for children.
What are the husband's chances of winning the case?

Elena, hello! If your husband submits an application for a reduction in alimony, there are two children in your family, he has a great chance of achieving what he wants. Sincerely. A.S.

Hello, Elena! The court will find out how much such a change in shares will affect the position of the child from the first marriage. In any case, your claims must be proven. From the way you described the situation, there is not much reason to satisfy the demands.

Elena, hello! As follows from the law, if after the amount of alimony has been established in court material or Family status one of the parties, the court has the right, at the request of either party, to change the established amount of alimony or to exempt the person obligated to pay alimony from paying it. When changing the amount of alimony or when releasing it from payment, the court has the right to also take into account other noteworthy interests of the parties. (Part 1 of Article 119 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation). Thus, it is possible to justify the need to change the amount of alimony collected for a child from a first marriage not only by changing the marital status of the alimony payer (children born in a second marriage). Next, I would like to draw your attention to the amount of alimony. According to the law, alimony for minor children is collected by the court from their parents monthly in the amount of: for one child - one quarter, for two children - one third, for three or more children - half of the earnings and (or) other income of the parents. (Clause 1 of Article 81 of the RF IC). Thus, if you have three children, each child will receive 1/6 of your earnings and (or) other income of the parents (1/2 divided by 3 we get 1/6). This is the same as in the case of collecting alimony for two children, each will also receive 1/6 of earnings (1/3 divided by 2, we also get 1/6). Respectively, in case of a reduction in the amount of alimony for a child from a first marriage from 25% (1/4 of earnings) up to 1/6, he will receive exactly what is provided by law (no more). As for the chances. Reducing the amount of alimony is a right, not an obligation of the court. It is almost impossible to predict a court decision without fully knowing the factual circumstances of the case. Warning (in pursuance of the Rules approved by the Federal Law Enforcement Administration of the Russian Federation (protocol dated September 28, 2016 No. 7)) – the legal information provided above does not constitute legal advice. Seek legal advice, drafting documents, and representation in courts from a lawyer.

My husband and I bought a house, I have been married to him for 8 years, but my husband has two sons from his first marriage, and my husband also inherited half of the apartment after his father’s death, what can I claim?

If the house was purchased during marriage, within the meaning of Art. 34 of the RF IC, it will be the joint property of the spouses. Those. 1/2 in this house is already yours, and the remaining 1/2 share will be divided between you and his children in equal shares, as between the heirs of the first stage (Article 1142 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation). As for the apartment, you will inherit together with his children in equal shares, because is not joint ownership, but property received through a gratuitous transaction (inheritance).

Upon divorce: 1/2 share of the house 1/2 share of the land. plots purchased for you during marriage and that’s it. 1/2 share of the apartment is not joint property, because acquired by inheritance. Bury your husband early: the heirs of the first stage are the parents of the deceased (testator) - his parents, spouse, children (from all marriages), but in this case to the house and land. The plot includes 1/2 share of the apartment. All this is divided among all the heirs of the first priority, but you still have a marital share, but... if this property is available at the date of death, there will be no will.

Me and my husband civil marriage(13 years old). The husband pays child support for his son from his first marriage. For 3 years, until it was officially settled, a debt arose (although we paid it in hand every month), I have property (cars and land), my ex-wife wants to receive it as payment for the debt. Does she have the right, because all the property is on me, we are not signed?

No, it doesn't. Debt collection can only be applied to the property of the debtor.

Dear Tatyana, Simferopol! When deciding this issue you need to understand that: CIVIL MARRIAGE is a marriage between a man and a woman, registered with the Civil Registry Office (Article 10 of the RF IC). Your relationship with this man is called COHABINATION and this is NOT a civil marriage! In addition, with cohabitation: - NO family (cohabitant and cohabitant); - NO jointly acquired property; - NO family budget etc. Also, a cohabitant and a cohabitant DO NOT have the right of INHERITANCE under the LAW after the death of each other. But at the same time, joint children of cohabitants have the right to: - demand payment of alimony from their parent; - inherit the property of a deceased parent. In accordance with paragraph 1 of Article 61 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, Parents have equal rights and have equal responsibilities towards their children (parental rights). Property acquired during the period of cohabitation belongs to the person who acquired it and to whom it is registered (Article 209 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation). Therefore, based on the above: - I recommend that you legalize your relationship by registering your marriage in the registry office. Good luck to you Vladimir Nikolaevich Ufa 01/17/2019

My husband and I are married, we have a child, but my husband has children from his first marriage, his son turns 18 years old and he stops paying elements for him, his daughter remains and he will pay 25% alimony to her. Is it possible to apply for a reduction in alimony while not being divorced from a second marriage? And how to write a sample application.

Good afternoon Yes, of course, submit an application to the magistrate’s court to collect alimony for joint child, then, with the court decision, the husband goes to court to reduce alimony for the child from his first marriage. Look on the Internet for many examples, for example: In (name of the court) district court of the city Plaintiff: , (full name) address: telephone: , fax: , email. mail: Defendant: , (full name) address: telephone: , fax: , email. mail: STATEMENT OF CLAIM for a reduction in the amount of alimony, for release in whole or in part from payment of the accumulated arrears of alimony By decision district court from "___" N (writ of execution N from "___") alimony is being collected from me in favor of the defendant for the child (children) (full name) (indicate the name and date of birth of each child) in part size wages and/or other income. In addition, by decision of the district court of the city dated "___" N (writ of execution N dated "__"), alimony in favor of the child (children) (full name) (name and date) is being collected from me birth in the amount of part of each child) wages and/or other income. The total amount of alimony collected from me is equal to my earnings and exceeds the maximum permissible amount of deductions from wages and/or income under enforcement documents established by current legislation. In connection with (indicate the circumstances that were the basis for the formation of alimony arrears: illness, military service, etc.) in the period from "___" to "___" arrears arose in the payment of alimony in the amount of () rubles (Full name) (indicate circumstances that exclude the plaintiff’s real opportunity to pay the resulting debt: financial situation, presence of dependents, illness, etc.) Based on the above and guided by clause 2 of Art. 81, paragraph 2 of Art. 114 Family Code of the Russian Federation, Art. 131 - 132 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation, I ASK: 1. Reduce the amount of alimony collected from me by decision of the district court of the city dated "__" of the city N of the case (writ of execution N of the "___" city 2. Release (partially or completely) from payment of arrears of alimony collected from me by decision of the district court dated “___”, case No. (writ of execution No. dated “__”), formed in the period from “__” to “___” Attachments: 1. Copy of the statement of claim 2. Copies of court decisions on the collection of alimony 3. Certificate of salary and (or) certificate of the bailiff on the amount of alimony arrears 4. Documents confirming the financial and marital status of the alimony payer 5. Evidence , confirming the validity of the reasons for the formation of alimony debt (a certificate from a medical institution about the debtor’s illness, a certificate about his completion of military service in the ranks Russian army and so on.). 6. Receipt for payment of state duty. "___" Mr. (signature) All the best to you!

Hello. You have the right to apply for alimony while married in accordance with Art. 80 of the RF IC, then the husband will file a claim to reduce alimony for his daughter in accordance with Art. 119 RF IC. There are samples on the Internet, but I would recommend contacting a specialist to draw up a claim. And now your spouse pays 33% for two children, that is, 16.5 for each, why will it automatically increase for your daughter later?

Inheritance.
Married for 2 years. After the divorce, the husband still had a son from his first marriage. After the divorce, they divided the apartment into shares (he had 1/3). Then he bought himself a separate home. And we got married. Is his son entitled to a share in the event of death? and how can I make sure that I remain the owner of this apartment? Re-register for me? Or write a legacy? He wants it this way.. but doesn’t know what’s best.. so that later I don’t end up on the street.

Hello! The best option for you is to re-register the apartment in your name. Minors or disabled children of the testator have the right to an obligatory share in the inheritance even in the presence of a will.

My husband has a child from his first marriage. And not native son in a new marriage. If he adopts my child, will it be possible to reduce child support for the first child?

Yes, it will be possible to reduce alimony, because alimony for 2 children in total amounts to 1/3 of income (Article 81 of the RF IC). Thus, if you go to court with an application to collect alimony for 2 children, then for each of the children the spouse will be obliged to pay 1/6 of the income monthly.

Married for the second time. We are raising children from our first marriage. My husband has a son (my mother died) and I have a son. They live with us. We are expecting a child. Will he be officially considered the third in the family? Or do only my births count? (I hope I asked clearly)

Hello. Considered a member of the family.

My husband has a son from his first marriage and he is a citizen of Uzbekistan and lives in Uzbekistan, not in Russia, my husband and I official marriage We live in Russia and are citizens of the Russian Federation, we have two children together, so in our marriage we have a room registered in the name of our husband, two cars are also on him and an apartment that we took out on a mortgage 2 years ago from the first. By contribution maternity capital and the mortgage is also registered in the name of my husband, but according to the documents, he and I are the 2 owners of it and we must give our children shares after paying off the mortgage in 15 years. Now the wife from her first marriage is threateningly declaring that she will take at least something since their joint son has the right to this, now he is 14 years old, according to the law of Uzbekistan he will be considered an adult from the age of 16 and will receive a passport, tell me what we can do so that they do nothing They couldn’t take it away from us through the courts and in general.

Let him try to “at least take something away.” Your rights are protected by the laws of the Russian Federation, and not of Uzbekistan. No one will take anything away from you, there is no such thing in Russian legislation. All actions are carried out only in court. Obtaining a passport at 16 years old in Uzbekistan is not associated with coming of age at 16 years old! The age of majority there also begins at 18 years of age. If your husband has no alimony arrears, then you can live in peace.

The situation is this: I’m married to my husband for the second time. There is a son from his first marriage. I don’t want to communicate with my ex-husband’s grandparents. They teach things in vain. They threaten us with guardianship authorities and the court. What to do? My current husband and I have a small child. No time for scandals. They don't give life.

It is possible to fix the amount only by concluding an agreement with your ex-wife and having it certified by a notary, if the salary is official, nothing else. . Conclusion of an agreement on the payment of alimony An agreement on the payment of alimony (the amount, conditions and procedure for paying alimony) is concluded between the person obliged to pay alimony and its recipient, and in case of incapacity of the person obliged to pay alimony and (or) the recipient of alimony - between the legal representatives of these persons Persons who are not fully capable enter into an agreement to pay alimony with the consent of their legal representatives.

There is only one option - to adopt your daughter from your first marriage, and file alimony for your husband, then both the first wife and you will receive 1/3 of your earnings. No other way. According to Art. 81 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation In the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, alimony for minor children is collected by the court from their parents monthly in the amount of: for one child - one quarter, for two children - one third, for three or more children - half of earnings and (or) other parents' income.

The spouse has the right to file an application for review of the court's decision to collect alimony in a fixed amount. According to Article 83 of the RF IC 2. The amount of a fixed sum of money is determined by the court based on the maximum possible preservation of the child’s previous level of support, taking into account the financial and marital status of the parties and other noteworthy circumstances. The above circumstances must be taken into account by the court when considering the case.

There is only one way out - to adopt your daughter from your first marriage and provide alimony to your husband, then both the first spouse and you will receive 1/3 of your earnings. According to Art. 81 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation In the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, alimony for minor children is collected by the court from their parents monthly in the amount of: for one child - one quarter, for two children - one third, for three or more children - half of earnings and (or) other parents' income. Clause 2 art. 83 and Art. 99 of the RF IC is not YOUR case since both you and your ex-wife are not indifferent to your husband’s (present and former) money.

In your case, your husband can file a claim in court to reduce the amount of alimony, i.e. shares - for example, not 1/4, as now, but 1/6. But in your situation, in order to satisfy such a claim, you need to prepare well, collect Required documents, confirming that paying large amounts of alimony worsens the financial situation of your family. You need to attach documents that you do not work, your daughter does not receive alimony from her father, but with convincing justification; other evidence (needs for treatment) A very high level of income for the defendant may also be grounds for a reduction in alimony. The court may consider that the percentage that will go towards child support is clearly too high. But such a measure is rarely used. Also, disabled parents can apply for alimony from their son, your husband, after which, after the appointment, there will be a real reason to reduce alimony for a child from 1 marriage. With permanent official work, the amount of alimony in a fixed monetary amount is practically not assigned by the court. . Changing the amount of alimony established by the court and exemption from payment of alimony 1. If, in the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, after the amount of alimony has been established in court, the financial or marital status of one of the parties has changed, the court has the right, at the request of either party, to change the established amount of alimony or to release the person obligated to pay alimony, from paying them. When changing the amount of alimony or when releasing it from payment, the court also has the right to take into account other noteworthy interests of the parties.

Tatyana, you must understand that your spouse’s child from his first marriage should not suffer for the reason that your ex-spouse does not pay child support to your (his) child. It is unlikely that the court will understand you and your spouse and make a decision to the detriment of your spouse’s child. Therefore, I agree with lawyer S.Yu. Derevyanko. in his answer.

The husband bequeathed his half of the apartment to his son and daughter from his first marriage in equal shares. The second half of the apartment is mine. Do I have the right to part of half of it if I am not a pensioner or disabled.

Alena Ivanovna, only if at the time of inheritance you are disabled.

Alena Ivanovna, yes, you have the right to a mandatory share in accordance with Art. 1149 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. Civil Code of the Russian Federation Article 1149. The right to an obligatory share in the inheritance 1. Minor or disabled children of the testator, his disabled spouse and parents, as well as disabled dependents of the testator, subject to being called to inherit on the basis of paragraphs 1 and 2 of Article 1148 of this Code, inherit regardless of the content wills of at least half of the share that would be due to each of them upon inheritance by law (mandatory share), unless otherwise provided by this article.

My husband has a deeded house, he has one child from his first marriage, I have a question: will my son be able to inherit?

The first priority heirs are the spouse, children, parents. May enter into the right of inheritance on an equal basis with other children after the opening of the inheritance.

I have a son from my first marriage, a second son was born out of wedlock, a daughter was born from my second legal husband. He also has two children from his first marriage. What benefits can we be entitled to while living in Bashkiria? And do we count? large family?

Hello dear site visitor, you are not the large family, you never know how many and where he doesn’t have children or you have them?, for you his children are strangers, for him yours are strangers. Good luck to you and all the best, with respect, lawyer Ligostaeva A.V.